There Must Be Some Way Out Of Here
by Olivia Dunham
Summary: When a pregnant Esme Evenson's vampire husband is murdered, she's forced into the arms of a handsome doctor, who just might have the key to saving the lives of the vampires, who are starting to run low on their blood supplies. AU. Esme/Carlisle
1. Chapter 1

_Hey all. Here's another Esme and Carlisle story. It's AU, so I hope you enjoy!_

. . .

". . . _news of the rebellion in New York has traveled across the world, and more and more humans are beginning to go against the vampires. To prevent these, we have a few suggestions here from Dr. Jason Lewis, who is famous for his experimental research on humans and vampires alike, as well as_ . . . ."

I turned off the television set, silently continuing to chop the vegetables before throwing them into the pot on the stove. It was ridiculous, the news reports that were on now days. I wished they had different news to report than on humans, vampires, and the problems we faced. We were aware of our problems, but the news seemed to think we needed to hear about them everyday, throwing it back in our faces. Not to mention they seemed to have an expert on everything, who thought they had the solution to the problem.

Yeah, right.

Shaking my head, I rinsed off the cutting board before grabbing several carrots, beginning to chop them as well.

Birds chirped just outside the window - the first robins of spring. It was finally a warm day and I had thrown most of the windows open on the ground floor of the rather spacious house, as well as the windows in my bedroom to air the place out. It had finally began to warm up, winter finally over. It had been a long winter, but not as harsh as some of the ones I'd been through before. I'd been through ones that had left us with snow so deep we - well, I - couldn't get out of the house for days.

Finishing with the vegetables, I turned the soup down to simmer, replacing the lid on it. The sound of a car coming up the drive sounded - glancing at the clock, I knew it would be my husband returning from his work. He'd get home about this time, eat, disappear into his study for several more hours, and then come to bed. He was always gone when I woke up in the mornings, mostly because he didn't sleep. I did.

I crossed through the formal dining room and into the parlor, finally emerging into the entry hall. Our house was rather large, a two story manor perched on a hill not far outside of Columbus, Ohio, where my husband worked. We'd lived in the house since we'd gotten married a few years ago, and I had dreams to fill it with children. He didn't share my dreams, but he pretended to care. I was seven months pregnant at that time, anyway, so at least he had the decency to pretend to care. It was more than he usually did.

He stepped in the front door, still dressed in his suit from work. I took his jacket as he shed it and hung it up on the coat hanger for him, like I always did. He turned and pulled me into his arms, kissing me like he did every day when he got home from work. Only, I didn't feel the spark that had been there once before. It had faded a few weeks after our wedding.

"Have a good day at work?" I asked, hoping to pull him into some sort of conversation before he disappeared into his study while dinner cooked. He surprised me by heading for the parlor, sitting down in the overstuffed armchair that had belonged to some older relative of his. I frowned. Something was wrong.

"What happened?"

"Everything." He muttered and reached for the decanter of alcohol he kept on the small table, grabbing the small crystal glass beside it. He poured it full to the brim, downing it in one gulp. He hardly ever drank it - it was mostly for appearances. The only times he drank it was when he was extremely angry or upset.

And even then it was rare - it was usually me he took his anger or frustrations out on. I had the bruises along my arms, legs, torso, and neck to prove that, if I removed the make-up I had used to oh-so-very carefully cover them up. I had gotten good at the technique it took now, to make it look like just a shadow from the light instead of a deep purple bruise caused by a fist, or a set of fingers gripping too tight.

"That rebellion in New York has the entire government in a mess. We're still trying to come up with some sort of solution, but every time we get close it slips away. Since those God awful _humans_," He said the word like it was some sort of disease. "Decided to rebel, they destroyed three of our blood banks. We're already low, and they're making it worse." He poured himself another glass and downed it.

"I'm sure things will work out." I offered, my hands clenching and unclenching behind my back. It was going to be a long night - I knew what to expect tonight. More bruises to cover up before I went to work tomorrow.

"They won't if those damned idiots don't get it together and stop those humans!" He nearly screamed, suddenly right in front of me. I flinched, having forgotten how quickly he could move when he wanted to. "I am in a position of power and I won't have that lost just because some of _your_ kind decides they don't want to be our personal dinners anymore!"

His burgundy eyes were blazing now as he stepped closer toward me.

"I -." I began, but his hand came across my face, slapping me. I shut my eyes, not moving as my cheek burned with pain, as if he had just lit my cheek on fire.

"I'm not hungry." He suddenly rumbled. "I'll be upstairs." He grabbed the decanter and his glass before disappearing from the room in a pale blur. I sighed, allowing my shoulders to slump.

I retreated back to the kitchen, blindly reaching into one of the lower drawers and pulling out a spare make-up kit. I dug in the tiny bag and grabbed the powdered foundation - the make-up I had the most of. Pulling open the pantry door, I looked at my reflection in the mirror. My cheek was already red, with purple beginning to form in the shape of a handprint along my face. I sighed and began to smear my make-up across it, easily covering it up and blending it in with the rest of my skin.

It was my parents that kept me tied to Charles in marriage, and the child who was currently kicking so hard that he was probably going to kick his way through my skin. I actually feared for my child - I didn't want him brought into an abusive marriage. I knew that Charles's anger could be turned to my son, and I didn't want that to happen. My son would be half vampire, part of the hybrid race that had became a new thing a few years ago once humans and vampires had started breeding.

The hybrids were the ones that were neutral in the _almost_ war between humans and vampires, since the hybrids could survive off blood or human food. It didn't matter to them which race lived or died.

Resting a hand on my stomach, I made sure my newest bruise was safely covered up before putting away my make-up and stirring the soup. I would be eating alone tonight - again. Which I preferred on most nights, because I couldn't stand the smell of Charles's dinner. We had an entire refrigerator reserved for the blood that Charles ate, but that supply was slowly starting to diminish. Soon, he would be out of luck with the rest of the vampires. I just hoped he didn't turn to me for his next meal, or his son.

As I ate at the island in the middle of the kitchen, I turned back on the small television set. They were broadcasting photos of what the destroyed blood banks in New York looked like now, merely piles of rubble from the bombs the humans had set off. Most of the humans had been captured, but a few had returned to their hidden bases.

Humans, like animals, were being farmed for blood. Some who had higher parents, or who had connections - like myself - ended up in marriages to vampires, almost like trophy wives they could show off and have arguments about whose human was prettier.

But the blood banks were where vampires got their food - and money - and why Charles was so upset. Charles was in charge of an entire line of them. Ironically enough, the two that had been destroyed had been two in his line of banks.

The humans that did manage not to be captured and sent to be farmed had formed up rebellions across the world against the vampires. There weren't a lot, at least, not that we knew of, but they knew how to strike so it hurt. Right in the heart, so to speak. But vampires couldn't kill the humans - they needed the blood. They were running out, and soon, they'd be turning to their lovely trophy wives. Maybe even the hybrids that existed. But eventually, they'd be out of option and probably resort to killing each other, until there wasn't a soul left on Earth. It was a scary thought, to know what I had to look forward to, but I was determined to make the best of whatever days I had left on the Earth.

I looked down at my bowl of soup - I'd barely eaten half of it. I just wasn't hungry, but I forced it down, only for the baby, who had finally stopped moving around for the time being. Slightly disgusted, I stuck the pot of soup in the refrigerator with the human food before quietly doing the dishes.

I silently headed upstairs to bed.

When I awoke the next morning, I found a note on Charles's side of the bed. Sleepily I unfolded it, taking the pale red rose he had left with it and smelling it while I read the note.

_Esme,_

_The gala is tonight, so I took the liberty of buying your dress last night. I'll be home by the time you get back from work. Have a good day._

_Charles_

I looked up across the room - a dress bag hung on the back of the closet door. Getting up, I crossed to it and pulled the bag away, revealing the long black formal dress. For some reason, Charles liked me in black. I preferred blue or green or some other bright color, but he liked black. So I wore it, just to please him. It seemed anything I did was to please him anymore.

Putting the bag back over it, I disappeared into the bathroom to grab a quick shower and changed into a white skirt and lavender blouse, clipping my hair back with a silver butterfly clip. It wouldn't take me long to get to work. My work was the one haven I could go to without having to worry about Charles or anyone else.

Grabbing my purse, I slid my feet into a pair of black flats, leaving the house. I pulled my keys from my purse and pressed the button that unlocked the door to the small blue Honda I drove. It was pretty much nothing compared to the Corvette Charles drove, but my car was safer. At least, I drove it safer than my husband drove his car. A car wreck may not be able to kill him, but I couldn't stand how he drove so recklessly. It's why I refused to ride with him half the time.

I loved my job. I taught a kindergarten class in an elementary school in the suburbs of Columbus, full of vampire, hybrid, and human children. They were adorable, and completely oblivious to the problems their parents were facing. They didn't share the same wars as their parents. Being with them was like a little retreat for both me and the students. Some parents protested with the students being mingled, but there weren't enough teachers, and most parents didn't have the money to send their kids to private schools.

I arrived at the school an hour before it was set to begin like normal, clocked in at the office, before heading down the hall to my classroom. The chalkboard had been erased of the previous day's activities, leaving it blank for today. Hand drawn pictures that my students had done hung in various places around the room. Toys were stuffed in any available spot, and tables were circled in the corner. It wasn't a large classroom, but it was perfect for my tastes.

Students began to file into the classroom, sitting down on the rug and beginning to converse with others. The human kids looked more tired than the others, rubbing their eyes and probably wanting nothing more than to go back to bed. Doing a quick headcount, I noticed most of my class had arrived and moved to shut the door.

"Good morning students!"

"Good morning Miss. Esme!"

On normal days, we usually went through writing and reading, before they were allowed recess, and then naptime. When they woke up, they could go color, play with toys, or something else to that nature before we'd sit down and read a story. Nothing hard or complicated.

However, this wasn't a normal day.

Everything was okay, up until recess. Our class was the only class out, so I was standing in the cool breeze, watching them play games of tag or swing or slide, whatever they pleased. It just made me happy they were having fun, getting their exercise. I loved kids, each as if they were my own. And soon I would have my own. But until then, I had my students, who loved me in return.

I tensed when I heard a loud scream and then sobbing. My head turned - Felicity was sitting in front of the swings, crying, clutching her leg. Instinctively I rushed toward her, as fast as my pregnant body would allow.

"What happened?" I asked, having slight difficulties kneeling down to her. Her face was tear streaked as she clutched her leg.

"Bobby dared me to jump off the swings and I did and I fell and my leg hurts!" She wailed. She was one of human children I had grown fond of, and it hurt me to see her in pain. I was afraid to touch her leg in case it was broken, so I carefully lifted her fragile body into my arms - being careful of her leg - and began heading back toward the school, shepherding the other students in front of me.

"Kevin, go and tell Mrs. Fisher in the office to call the hospital and have them send over a doctor, and call Felicity's parents. Can you do that for me?" I asked the blonde haired vampire child in front of me. He nodded and ran off in a blur toward the office as I returned my students to the classroom. They began to get out their pillows, spreading out across the floor for naptime as I cradled Felicity's sobbing form to my chest, trying to sooth her in any way I could as I sat down in my desk chair.

Kevin returned, reporting that they were sending over one of the doctors, and that Felicity's parents would be there shortly. I nodded and allowed him to go and color quietly with the vampire children while the humans and hybrids slept. Felicity had finally stopped crying and was clutching at my shirt. I had tugged her pant-leg up to reveal the swollen leg. It was obviously broken.

"Mrs. Evenson?"

I looked up, my breath hitching in my throat. In the doorway stood a man, with pale blonde hair and strikingly odd topaz colored eyes, wearing a lab-coat and carrying a bag of some sorts. By his flawless movements and pale skin as he moved toward me, I assumed he was a vampire.

"She jumped off the swings." I said quietly as he helped me set Felicity on the floor, his hands gentle as they stretched her leg out, unbending it at the knee. I watched carefully, holding the girl's free hand for comfort as he pulled out bandaging, beginning to wrap it around her leg.

"It's broken. Bandaging it is the best I can do until her parents can get her to the hospital. The nurses will put a cast on it there." He murmured, looking up at me from his position on the floor. I nodded.

"Glad you could come. I know you were probably busy."

"The hospitals are quite quiet anymore." He replied. We spoke in low tones, not wanting to wake the sleeping children in the middle of the room.

"Oh."

He finished wrapping up her leg, removing a lollipop from his bag and handing it to her with a grin. Her eyes lit up - her pain briefly forgotten, she reached over to hug him.

"Thank you!" She whispered. I moved to pick her up, to move her with the other children so she could try to sleep, but the doctor beat me to it.

"Just tell me where you want me to put her. You shouldn't be lifting things in your stage of pregnancy." He replied softly and I merely nodded, crossing the room to grab a pillow. I placed it next to a group of her friends, nodding for the doctor to put her there.

"Thanks." I said softly, walking with him toward the door. He flashed a brilliant smile at me.

"Not a problem. Let me know if you ever need anything else." He said, and then he was gone, disappearing down the hall.

Felicity's parents arrive soon and checked her out, taking her to the hospital. The rest of the day went without incident, allowing me to return home. Charles was there as he had promised in his note - in the shower by the time I arrived upstairs.

I usually liked dressing up, and tonight was no different. Charles and his friends within the cooperation of blood banks always threw dinner parties or galas or some other party to celebrate something, and as Mrs. Evenson, I was invited to each one of them with my husband.

I changed into the black formal Charles had picked it - it trailed along the floor behind me slightly, and had no straps, hugging my frame until my waist where it flared out. It was pretty, but I still didn't like it black. It would have looked nice in a whitish color better. But I didn't complain, silently going through my jewelry box in an attempt to find a different pair of earrings.

"You look lovely, as always." Charles murmured when he emerged from the bathroom, changed into his tux for the night. I gave a smile in return.

"You don't clean up so bad yourself." I murmured and he pressed a kiss to my cheek, allowing me to reach up and fix his tie for him. When he wasn't drunk, or beating me, he was quite the charmer. Part of the reason I thought I had fallen in love with him. Truth was, I wasn't in love with him at all. It was merely another charade in our marriage that was fabricated with lies and dishonestly toward one another. It wasn't even a real marriage anymore.

We took the Corvette to the party - I clutched the arm of my seat the entire time we drove 90 mph down the highway. The gala was being held in the ballroom of one of the finer high class hotels in the downtown area of Columbus. I was used to all the glitz and glamour of the places these parties were held at. The newest wives of some of the other officials gaped in awe at the large vastness of the hotel and its beautiful design.

I knew I was pretty. Maybe not as beautiful as the tall, thin blonde that was practically made of legs that was walking ahead of us, hooked on the arm of her much older vampire husband, but I was pretty. I had been the envy of Charles's colleagues before, and still was, even at seven months pregnant. Some actually thought I had been a vampire before I'd become pregnant, mostly because I held the elegance and grace that they did, and not have the clumsiness and just downright odd behavior that most humans did.

While Charles went off to speak with some old friends of his, I sat down in the corner with a bunch of their wives. I had been told by the doctor not to be on my feet as much this late in my pregnancy, so sitting down was the easiest to escape the rather annoying friends of Charles. But if the men were annoying, their wives were so much worse, gossiping and chatting like a group of old widowed women. I'd never gotten along well with them, but I always put on a smile and talked anyway, just to fit in and please my husband. Tonight I just didn't have the energy, so I merely sat there, clutching a flute of champagne that I knew I would never drink.

"Good evening, Mrs. Evenson."

I looked up, quite surprised to find the handsome blonde doctor that had come to my classroom earlier that day. He flashed a smile.

"Good evening, doctor."

"It's Cullen. Carlisle Cullen." He introduced and extended a hand. I grasped it, surprised to find how icy it was. Instead of shaking it like I expected, he pressed a kiss to my knuckles before letting it drop.

"The pleasure to meet you, Dr. Cullen, but I insist you call me Esme." I replied politely. He gave a little nod.

"Mind if I sit with you?"

"Pull up a chair." I smiled, shifting slightly to where I was more comfortable in the chair. It was hard to get comfortable these days with a kid moving around inside of you constantly.

"I'm afraid that today I did not realize you were the lovely wife of Charles Evenson." He commented. "I would have introduced myself earlier."

"It's fine." I waved a dismissive hand. People were always recognizing me as the wife of Charles Evenson, never just Esme. I hated it. This Carlisle Cullen talked odd, too, as if he were from a different century. Then I had to remind myself that he was a vampire, and _really was_ most likely from another century.

"Are you enjoying yourself?"

I looked over at him with a pointed look.

"Being seven months pregnant and at a gala for something I'm not even aware of is just the most amazing highlight of my year."

He laughed, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees, linking his fingers as he watched me with an amused expression. He was even handsomer when he was in a suit, and not wearing scrubs.

"I take that as a no."

I merely nodded, my gaze sweeping the room - I spotted Charles in the corner, conversing with another group of friends. He spent more time with them than he did with me. But he never liked me in his business because I was human, and wouldn't understand the finer points of blood banking. I was smarter than he gave me credit for, but I did admit I did not care for the finer points of blood banking - I wasn't a vampire.

"How is it you know my husband?" I inquired after a moment.

"His blood banks used to donate generously to the hospital before the shortage." Carlisle replied. Right. I'd forgotten about his donations. Another act, just to make himself look better.

"Oh."

"You have any names for your baby picked out?"

I was surprised by the question, but nodded again, a small smile coming to my lips for the first time that night.

"Thomas. Thomas Charles Evenson." I murmured. The baby gave a sharp kick then, making me wince. Carlisle chuckled.

"He apparently likes his name already."

"Well, good evening Dr. Cullen."

We both looked up to see Charles, grinning fabulously as he straightened his suit, clutching a flute of blood. It looked like wine, but I knew better.

"Good evening, Charles." Carlisle nodded respectfully. "I was just speaking with your lovely wife. She was telling me about your future son."

"Ah, yes. Esme does love to speak of children, whether they be her own or her students." Charles mused. "But unfortunately, we must take our leave. It was a pleasure seeing you Dr. Cullen."

"Same here."

Carlisle stood as Charles offered his arm to me.

"Goodbye, Dr. Cullen. Hopefully you won't need to return to the school anytime soon." I smiled. He returned the smile.

"Take care, Esme."

Then he was gone, disappearing into the crowd as I took Charles's arm and we headed out to our car.

I sort of hoped that Carlisle would need a reason to return to the school, just so I could speak with him again. I shouldn't have been thinking the thoughts I was, considering I was married, but Carlisle was handsome. Then again, most vampire men were, but there was something about Carlisle that intrigued me. His eyes, for one. They were not the burgundy of everyone around him, but a strange and odd amber color, like melted gold.

I would have to keep my eye on this Carlisle Cullen.


	2. Chapter 2

"Good morning, Mrs. Evenson." The receptionist on the first floor greeted me and I gave her a wary smile. My heels echoed loudly across the marble tiled floor - everything in the building was shiny, new, and dazzling looking, reminding me of a vampire's skin in the sunlight. I was sure it had been modeled after that at least. The entire company I now stood in was crawling with vampires, but they knew I was not allowed to be touched, on pain of death.

"He's out checking inventory right now, but you can wait in his office." The girl called after me.

"Thank you."

I had only been to Charles' company once, and he had met me in the lobby. I probably should have asked where his office was, but I was fairly certain I could find it. I stepped into the empty elevator and pressed the button for the top floor.

It rose quickly and silently, the doors opening into what appeared to be a deserted corridor. I frowned and stepped forward off the elevator, one hand resting on my stomach. There was a set of double doors at the very end of the hall, and two doors on either side of it that branched left and right. I headed forward, through the double doors and into his office.

The entire back wall behind his desk was glass, providing an excellent view of Columbus. Like the receptionist had said, he was not there, and I was alone in his office. I was there because I had thoughtfully brought him lunch. Not that he would care, it was just a nice gesture on my part. After all, I was still a thoughtful wife who thought to do nice things for her husband.

Not really wanting to have him kick me out or anything, I sat the cooler I had brought his lunch in on his desk and scribbled a quick note on a piece of stationary from his desk. I left his office after that, heading back toward the elevator.

The doors opened, and I nearly ran headlong into Charles, who had his arm wrapped around a pretty blonde vampire, who was giggling at apparently some sort of joke he had just made. Both their smiles disappeared at the sight of me.

"Esme, what are you doing here?"

"Bringing you lunch." I stated, not looking at him.

"That will be all. I'll see you at home."

He dismissed me like some common secretary, and I said nothing more, obediently getting into the elevator. Inside, I was screaming. The stupid prick. I punched the wall of the elevator in rage, wincing as I realized that I was not a vampire and punching something did in fact harm me. Stupid Esme. I shouldn't have to take such emotional and physical abuse from him, especially while pregnant, but part of me knew I couldn't leave him. Leaving him would mean that I was fair game to other vampires, who would not hesitate to kill me for my blood, pregnant or not.

I stalked from the building, hiding angry tears with my curtain of long curls, heading back to my car. It was Saturday, so I didn't have my job to distract me. I would have to go home and stew over what had happened. Charles was probably sleeping with the pretty little blonde - apparently our marriage had grown stale to him to. I was surprised he hadn't killed me yet.

I had just left the lobby and stepped into the parking lot when the sound of a bomb going off filled the air. Heat licked at my back as the sound of screeching metal filled the air. An icy hand wrapped around my arm and the next thing I knew, I was halfway across the parking lot, watching the building I had just come out of go up in flames.

"Are you all right, Mrs. Evenson?"

I looked over at the unfamiliar voice - it was a younger vampire, with bronze colored hair and dark red eyes, his skin glittering in the bright morning sun.

I opened my mouth to reply, but a sharp pain rain up my spine and what came out instead was a hiss of pain. I doubled over and he caught me, helping me stand up straight.

"What does it feel like?" He asked, sounding much like a doctor.

"Something's inside of me, trying to rip it's way out." I hissed, wincing as something cracked. I knew what was happening, and apparently so did the vampire beside me. I was going into labor - the doctors had told me hybrid pregnancies were slightly accelerated, and hurt ten times worse than a normal human birth. Right now, it felt like I had swallowed a sun with sharp spikes on it - something kept clawing at my insides.

"We need to get you to a hospital - now."

I didn't have time to protest as he picked me up like a broken rag doll - next thing I knew I was being put into the passenger's seat of a sleek silver car and he was climbing in the driver's seat. I didn't have time to wait for ambulances to report to the scene of the explosion - they'd have their hands full anyway. I was in too much pain - I just wanted the baby out then and there.

"Don't worry. It's not as bad as they make it." He spoke as if he could read my thoughts. I could only not, gripping the armrest like a lifeline, breathing heavily. Something inside of me cracked and I couldn't help the cry of pain that escaped my lips.

I realized I had blacked out when I opened my eyes and saw nothing but white lights above me. I blinked away the haze that had overcome me and pushed myself into a sitting position, trying to focus. I was alone, and when I looked down, I noticed the pounds I had put on with my pregnancy were gone. Had I had my baby? I could remember the building exploding, and being pulled away by the bronze haired vampire, being brought into the hospital - then nothing. My side hurt a bit and I felt around - I had a bandage around my abdomen as well, making it hard to bend and move and twist.

The door opened and one of the doctors stood there, looking a bit worse for wear as he stepped in, a clipboard in his hand. He gave a weak smile when he saw me sitting up, and stepped over to help me up a bit farther into a more comfortable position, his icy skin brushing mine.

"Try not to move too much - you have two cracked ribs and the less you move, the faster they'll heal." He explained and I nodded - that gave reason for the pain in my side every time I tried to inhale deeply. "Are you feeling better?"

"A bit of a headache, but I'm fine."

"That's to be expected - one of the side effects of the drugs we gave you to keep you calm and asleep for the time being."

I only nodded.

"I'm afraid I do have bad news, however, Esme." He said gently, and moved to sit down in one of the spare chairs around the sparsely furnished room. I frowned at the expression on his face. "I'm afraid that explosion downtown killed your husband."

Part of me wanted to cheer. Charles was dead. But another part felt sorry, and another felt grateful that I had made it out of the building and that man had pulled me away. I nodded - now I would have to deal with being a single human mother who would probably be eaten the first time I stepped out in public. I was slightly curious about the fact why I hadn't been drained of my blood already. Blood supply was too low as it was, and people were killing because of it. Yet, I was laying here in the middle of a hospital with vampires, as a human. Wasting space.

"That's not all." The doctor continued slowly and I looked back at him, brushing hair from my eyes as I nodded for him to continue. "I'm afraid that because the labor was too intense and the baby wasn't quite ready to come out - your son didn't survive. I'm sorry."

I hadn't been braced for that. Something inside of me shattered - I had the feeling it was my heart. I only nodded and he silently left, leaving me alone to my thoughts. I was crying seconds later. The one thing that I had been looking forward to in my messed up life was my son. Now he was taken from me too - God obviously hated me. I hadn't done anything to deserve my son to be ripped from me - I'd endured a God awful marriage and put up with abuse for this? I cried harder, pulling the blanket up around me as I sobbed into it. My baby was dead.

I sat there long after the doctor had left, and watched the sun fall and darkness fell across my room. I was half in a trance, not really conscious of my actions as I unhooked my I.V. and the heart monitor I was attached to. I was hooked up to another machine I hadn't noticed before - blood was moving from my arm into a container. So they were harvesting blood from me - discreetly. Probably why I felt so weak when I moved. With a sudden hatred for my own life, I ripped it out as well. My arm was bleeding, so I ripped part of the sheet off and pressed it to my arm as I slid out of bed. Things tilted for a moment and blurred, but I shook my head and focused.

I wouldn't have to worry about it for much longer.

My feet carried me out into the hallway, the hospital gown fluttering about my legs as I peered up and down the hall. There was no-one. I wouldn't have much time - with the doctors being vampires, they could easily sense a patient out of bed, especially if they were bleeding. I could only hope they were still distracted from the disaster that had happened earlier and the ones that had possibly escaped from that.

I found the elevator and found I was on the second floor. I pressed the button for the very top floor, the tenth. Ten stories ought to do it. It wasn't hard to find the roof access stairs after that, and after another short climb, I stepped out into the cool night air. The breeze blew my gown and hair about, but I hardly noticed. My mind was made up.

Without my son, there was no point in continuing to live. I would be killed for my blood. I was better off dead - hopefully in whatever afterlife awaited me I would see him again, and not have to worry about Charles, because he was probably in hell by now. After all, that was what awaited all vampires, in my opinion. Hell. They had no souls, and didn't deserve entrance to heaven like the innocent.

The city was aglow with life, even in the dark. Lights cast an eerie glow against the storm clouds rolling in above. Car horns blared in the distance, below. I headed for the edge of the building, and looked down over the ledge - it was a long way down to the sidewalk below. But I wasn't turning back then. I dropped the piece of sheet that had stopped the blood flow from my arm and let it fall over the side before I climbed up onto the ledge. The wind had picked up now, and I probably looked insane on the ledge of the roof, my hair whipping wildly. Lightning flashed in the distance, rain threatening to pour down at any minute. Maybe I wouldn't make a big mess on the sidewalk - it'd wash away in the rain.

My toes hung over the edge of the ledge and I stared ahead, afraid if I looked down I would lose my nerve. My side was screaming in pain, but I wouldn't have to worry about it in a minute. I wondered briefly if it would hurt at all when I hit the ground. For a split second, maybe.

"Esme, don't."

I nearly toppled over in shock, but regained my footing at the familiar voice behind me.

"Leave me alone, Dr. Cullen."

I stared back down, determined.

"Fine, go ahead. But if you jump off that ledge, I'm jumping right after you - and I bet I reach bottom first and catch you."

"You don't understand." I whispered fiercely. I wasn't going to be talked out of it, like he was trying to do. I looked over - he was suddenly standing on the ledge beside him, his eyes reflecting that golden color once more, visible even in the dark.

"Then help me understand why you would willingly give up your life on this earth."

"My son is dead. And because of that prick husband of mine getting himself blown up I'm going to be farmed just like every other human like me. I'm not an animal. I won't be harvested." I said quietly, starting to cry again. "I don't want a life like that."

"You don't have to have a life like that, Esme. Just step down from the ledge."

"You don't know that! You know that they're kidnapping and taking any humans they can find for their blood! I thought I would be safe because Charles was my husband, and I had a baby - but now that they're both gone . . . ." I trailed off. My heart was laying in pieces still, and yet I somehow still felt the stinging pain every time I mentioned my baby. How I had wanted that baby. I'd spent ages picking out nursery colors and buying books for me to read to him and toys for him to play with. My heart would break all over again if I had to go home to an empty house and face packing all of that stuff up. Not that I would make it home.

If Dr. Cullen would just let me jump, I wouldn't have to worry about any of it.

"I can promise that won't happen to you, Esme. Just step down and let's talk about this."

"There's nothing to talk about." I murmured. "Just let me jump!"

"I can't do that."

I looked at him, glaring, as the wind picked up again. I opened my mouth to say something, but instead, the wind caught me and sent me off balancing, toppling over the edge. I screamed.

A pale hand grabbed my wrist as I fell, jerking me to a halt as I dangled from the side of the building. Carlisle was leaned over the ledge, looking quite afraid for a moment. I stared up at him, then glanced down.

"Do you want to die, Esme?" He asked quietly and I shook my head. I didn't want to die - apparently it took dangling off a building to realize that.

"Don't let me fall." I whispered - I was still crying. Like I was nothing but a feather, Carlisle easily pulled me back up onto the roof. He set me on my own two feet - I was trembling slightly, and he pulled his lab coat off, wrapping it around my shoulders.

"I wasn't going to let you fall." He murmured as he guided me back downstairs. To my surprise, though, he didn't return me to my room. Instead we headed to the nurse's station. I stood there awkwardly wrapped in his coat as he grabbed the woman's attention.

"Good evening, Dr. Cullen." She greeted with a flirty smile, her gaze flickering to me almost questioningly. "Can I help you?"

"I need to check a patient out."

"Name?"

"Esme Evenson."

"Platt." I said with a flinch. Both of them looked at me. "I'm regressing back to my maiden name, if you don't mind."

"Esme Platt." Carlisle corrected quietly and the nurse moved to the filing cabinets behind her, searching for my file. I rested my hands against the marble counter - which felt just as icy as Carlisle's skin - and let my hair hang in my face. Out of the corner of my eye, I watched as he signed the papers at the bottom of my file, effectively releasing me from the hospital. His hand at the small of my back, he escorted me outside, back into the night air. He was silent as we crossed the parking lot to a dark colored car with darkly tinted windows - I could make out that it was Mercedes.

He opened the passenger door for me and I climbed in. I had only met him a few days ago, and now I was getting in his car. Not that I had a choice - if I went anywhere else, I was out of luck. But for some reason, I did trust Carlisle. If he was going to hurt me, he would have already done so.

We were soon speeding down the highway, out of Columbus.

"Where are we going?" I asked quietly, breaking the silence in the car.

"My home. You'll be safe there."

"Why are you protecting me?"

"Because I would not wish the life of a farmed human nor the twisted, dark life of an immortal life on any one. And those are your only two options."

I wanted to remind him that I could have just killed myself and I wouldn't have to worry about either of those, but I refrained, instead fell silent once more and let him drive.

We shot down a gravel drive that was half hidden by the trees and forest that covered the outskirts of the city on the eastern side. It was easily a mile back or more, before I saw the house itself. It was easily as large - if not larger - than the house Charles and I had lived in, with at least three stories not including a basement or attic. I was surprised to see that a lot of it was large glass windows that probably gave a beautiful view. There were several other cars parked in the driveway - I doubted all of them could be Carlisle's.

He was around to my side of the car a split instant after he had shut it off. He extended a hand and helped me out - I was starting not to feel well, the cracks in my ribs starting to ache even more and my arm still bleeding a bit - it was getting on his lab coat, and I felt bad because it would probably stain. He noticed it though, and stopped up from climbing the steps to the porch. Silently reaching into his lab coat, he withdrew a piece of gauze and rolled the sleeve of it up, pressing it to my arm for a long moment before wiping the rest of the blood away.

"How can you not want to take my blood?" I asked.

"When you've been alive for over 300 years, you get used to it." He replied quietly, crinkling the gauze in his hand before his other hand went to the small of my back again, guiding me into the house.

It was dark, but lights blared to life with one flick of a switch. It looked like I had walked into the living room of some old fashioned English home - and I loved it. It was homey and lovely, something our home had never been. I had attempted it, but it hadn't been very successful.

"Ms. Platt."

I looked over - the bronze haired man that had pulled me away from the building stood at the bottom of the stairs.

"Are you a relative of Dr. Cullen's?" I asked quietly and he nodded.

"Sort of." He spoke. "Not biologically, but it was Carlisle who changed me when I was dying of Spanish influenza. He's along the lines of a father to me."

I smiled slightly. "That's wonderful."

"Sorry, let me introduce myself. I'm Edward Cullen."

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Cullen. I'm Esme Platt."

"It's Edward, ma'am."

"Then I insist on Esme."

"Anything you'd like." He gave a gentle smile, then looked at Carlisle. "Are you going to be the one to inform them or shall I?" He asked Carlisle, even though Carlisle had said nothing during the entire exchange.

"Feel free to inform them. I'm going to take Esme upstairs and show her to her room."

Edward stared at Carlisle for a long moment, his upper lip curling.

"You better not."

I had the feeling I was missing something.

"Go, Edward." Carlisle said firmly. He nodded and disappeared in a blur, leaving Carlisle to escort me upstairs.

"Does Edward not like me?" I asked with a slight frown.

"He's very wary of visitors, especially human."

"You get them often?"

Carlisle let out a throaty chuckle. "No, it's because of another reason - I'll explain at a later time. Right now, however, I think you need some clothes and some rest."

I nodded - I was rather tired, even after being unconscious at the hospital for so long. He led me to the third floor, and into a room that looked like it had never been slept in - a guest room, decorated in different shades of white and brown.

"I'll have Edward bring you some of Bella's clothes - she's a bit smaller than you, but they'll have to do until we can get you some clothes of your own." Carlisle said. "I hope you like your room."

"You're very generous, Dr. Cullen. Most of your kind would have already killed me."

"I'm not like the rest of my kind." He gave a dazzling smile. "Try to get some rest, and we'll talk more tomorrow."

"Goodnight, Dr. Cullen."

"It's Carlisle. And goodnight, Esme."

I watched him leave, moving to the window - it overlooked the backyard, which was filled with roses and other flowering plants that looked like they had seen better days. I liked gardening - maybe I could take care of them while I was here. I wasn't sure how long I would be here, anyway. Carlisle seemed determined to keep me safe, and I would let him, But I wasn't just going to sit there all day and do nothing - it wasn't in my nature, and Carlisle would be wrong if he assumed as such.

Sitting down on the edge of the bed, there was a brief knock at the door. The words 'come in' were barely out of my lips before Edward strode in, folded clothes in his arms.

"These are some of my wife's. I brought you something to sleep in and something for tomorrow." He said and laid them on the bed - he grew closer and I noticed his eyes were the same shade of Carlisle's.

"Do you mind if I ask you something, Edward?"

"Go for it."

"Why are your eyes that color? Every vampire I've ever seen has red eyes - yours are quite odd."

"It's because our family chooses not to share the same diet as the rest of our kind - we foresaw that their ways would lead to the end of humanity, so we switched to an easier diet - we choose to indulge in the blood of animals."

My lips formed a silent 'oh'. That made sense, and in the long run, was quite a smarter decision than killing humans for blood. So Carlisle and his family were not effected by the lack of human blood, which was almost a relief to me - I would not be killed for my blood in this house.

"Interesting. If only the rest of the vampires shared your diet."

"Then there would be a lack of animals instead of humans." Edward pointed out. "But Carlisle is working on an answer to that problem."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, he's been researching for years on a cure for vampirism, and every time he comes close, the answer slips away. He's been reading into blood substitutes as well, to see if a substance can be created that mirrors human blood so vampires can sustain themselves and humanity can repopulate themselves." Edward explained. "My wife helps him in his research - she's a human, like you."

"I would like to meet her, considering I will be wearing her clothes."

"She's on vacation right now with the others in our family." He said. "They're due back tomorrow, but they know you're here."

"How many in your family are there? Well, how many live here?"

"Bella and I, as you know, and Carlisle. Then there's Emmett and his wife Rosalie, and Jasper and his wife Alice. We're all sons and daughters to Carlisle, in a way, I suppose. In our own little dysfunctional way."

"I hardly think you're dysfunctional." I said with a skeptical look. Edward laughed.

"You haven't met the rest of the family yet."

"I should be looking forward to tomorrow then." I gave a small smile that he returned.

"Goodnight, Esme. And before you ask - yes, I can read your thoughts."

"So you're one of the ones that has an ability that carried over." I said and he nodded. While my knowledge about vampires was little, I did know that some of their human traits carried over and formed into abilities in their vampires lives - there had been a man that had been a friend of Charles who could inflict pain when he touched you, and I knew of a woman who attended most of the galas I was forced to who could see people's memories just by being near them.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Edward. Goodnight."

He left and I turned toward the pile of clothes that Edward had brought to me. I pulled off a pair of shorts and a t-shirt emblazoned with some sort of band off the top - pajamas, apparently. A dark green sundress for tomorrow was underneath. I laid it across the footboard of the bed before changing into the pajamas - carefully, mindful of my ribs.

When I fell into bed that night, I thanked whatever God was listening for bringing Carlisle Cullen into my life.


	3. Chapter 3

I awoke very early the next morning - the sun was just starting to rise. I silently dressed in the sundress that Edward had brought me the night before. It was a bit tight, but it was clothes and I wasn't complaining. I chanced a peek out my door - the entire house was silent. With the idea of returning Carlisle's lab coat to him, I threw it over my arm and walked barefoot down the stairs, toward the living room I had been escorted into earlier. I could now hear quiet voices, and the smells of breakfast coming from the kitchen. I headed in that direction.

The voices stopped when I neared the door - I awkwardly raised my hand to knock, but it opened before I even had the chance. Carlisle stood there with a dazzling smile - there were other vampires sitting around the dining room table, except for the brunette at the corner. I assumed she was the human, Bella, with the way she was scarfing down breakfast. She was the only one eating.

"Good morning, Esme. Did you sleep well?"

"Yes, thank you."

"Would you like some breakfast?"

"Oh, no. I'm not hungry." I replied.

"Liar." Edward stated and I threw him a slight glare. Carlisle chuckled.

"Sit down. It's no trouble - you're not the only human." He nodded to Bella, who gave a smile in my direction.

"I think this is yours, by the way." I said feebly, handing the lab coat out to him. He smiled in thanks and took it before disappearing through another door.

"I thought you said she was a human, Edward." The smallest of the vampires said, suddenly standing beside me and examining me. I stood rigid and she gave a pixie like laugh, before taking my arm and guiding me into a chair between her and Edward. "She looks like a vampire."

"I'm human. Promise."

She only gave a serene smile in return.

"Well, this is everyone, Esme." Edward said, glancing around. He began to point out who was who. "Emmett, Rosalie, Alice, Jasper, and Bella. Everyone, this is Esme Platt."

They all flashed grins in my direction except for Rosalie, who was turned away. I frowned slightly, but said nothing.

Suddenly, there was a plate of food in front of me and I looked up - Carlisle was holding a fork out to me. I murmured a quiet 'thank you' and watched as he sat down at the head of the table.

"Now, you were saying Rosalie?" Carlisle looked toward the pretty blonde as Bella and I silently ate. Rosalie glanced in my direction with a slight snarl and I looked down at my plate. She obviously didn't like me. At all.

"They're starting to gather together more forces to pull the humans out of hiding. There's not many left, but they're going to take them to farms as soon as possible. They've started trying to come up with new ways to sustain themselves, but so far, nothing is working."

"Don't I know it." Carlisle muttered, pinching the bridge of his nose. "The world is going to hell."

"It's been going to hell." Jasper spoke, his fingers laced with Alice's on top of the table.

"It's their own fault. Their greed for blood is too great - they could have just taken certain amounts of blood from humans, to where the human still lived and was able to replenish the blood, and they could keep taking blood in increments." I said quietly. It was an idea that I'd been harboring for a while - not that anyone had ever cared.

"If only they weren't so greedy," Edward murmured. "That would be a fabulous idea."

"Why are you all so concerned? You don't share their diet." I inquired, glancing around at each of them. It was Alice that replied.

"Because even we can't standby and watch our kind die out."

"Edward said last night that you were working on a substitute yourself, Carlisle? Or a cure for vampirism?"

"I am. It's just . . rather difficult to do."

"Is there anything I can do to help?" I wasn't sure why I was offering, but he seemed concerned. And if he could find a cure or a substitute, then I'd feel a lot better for the humans - they'd have a chance to repopulate, and wouldn't be forced into farms.

"Not entirely sure yet, but if the occasion arises, I'll let you know." Carlisle gave a reassuring smile, then glanced around at the table. "All right. Go back to whatever you were doing before this gathering."

I watched them disappear in blurs out the door except for Bella, who gathered her plate and headed for the kitchen, leaving Carlisle and I alone. I stared down at my plate.

"Are you okay with staying here, Esme?"

I looked up at Carlisle, who had sat back down again, his elbows resting against the table, fingertips pressed together as he studied me.

"Perfectly fine with it, if you are. I don't want to intrude or anything."

"Trust me, you're not." He gave another one of those smiles, and this time, I returned it.

"You're very kind, Carlisle. If there's anything I can do from research to just cleaning the house, let me know." I replied. "Although, I noticed your rose bushes are lacking care - would you mind if I fixed them up?"

"You're more than welcome to." He said, before continuing. "And I apologize about Rosalie - she's not a big fan of humans."

"Oh."

"Don't take it personally. She doesn't like the life of an immortal. She treats Bella the same."

"Trade her."

He gave a short, almost forced laugh this time and I looked back down at my plate, pushing what was left of my food around on my plate.

"Alice volunteered to take you shopping later, by the way, if you're feeling up to it." He said after a long moment of silence and I nodded. "Your ribs okay?"

"Never better." I murmured, although they were throbbing ever so slightly with every breath I took. Hopefully they'd hurry up and heal. I had never liked broken bones - then again, I had never liked pain either. But I was used to it.

"Do you mind if I ask you something, Esme? You don't have to answer if you don't want to."

"Shoot."

There was silence for a moment, and when I looked up, he was standing right beside me. He sat down in the chair Alice had previously occupied, before reaching up to my face and brushing back several strands of hair, his fingertips touching the bruise along my cheek. It was mostly faded now, but easily visible still.

"Did your husband do that to you?"

I only nodded quietly, looking away. Part of me felt ashamed for it, another part of me trying to convince the other part that there was nothing to be ashamed of. It was Charles' fault, not mine. And he was dead now, so it didn't really matter anymore, did it?

His icy fingers silently dropped.

"Well, I can promise you that no one will ever lay a hand on you as long as I'm around - and it's not exactly easy to get rid of someone like me." He flashed a dazzling smile and I returned with a small one of my own.

"Thank you. That . . .means a lot to me."

"Of course." He smiled. "Do you like to read?"

The question was random, but I nodded. I loved to read when I had the chance - which wasn't often. Maybe now I'd actually have some time.

Carlisle didn't say anything else as I finished off my plate, simply took it when I was done, and then returned, offering his arm to me. Giving him a quizzical look, I wrapped mine around his and he escorted me up stairs. He was such a gentleman compared to most people now days. It was nice.

He opened a door on the other side of my new room, and he led me into a study. The walls were lined with books, new and old, and several portraits were hanging on the walls. Papers were stuffed into any available place, and his desk was a bit of a mess.

"Believe it or not, not all of them are medical texts." He said, striding toward one of them and pulling out a book, handing it to me. "Ever read any of Kilkenny's work?"

"Can't say that I have."

"Try it. I think you'll enjoy it. I did."

I took the worn book in my hands gently - it looked aged and faded, an original copy. I held it like it would shatter at any moment as I carefully scanned some of the pages, the smell of dust coming off of them.

"Thank you. I'll get to it as soon as I can." I gave another smile. I was hardly used to someone being so nice, and it felt weird. But in a good way. I liked it. I was glad he had kept me from jumping the other night.

I trusted him, even if I hadn't known him for very long. He seemed the type - there wasn't a bad bone in his body. If only all men were like Dr. Cullen. I was suddenly aware his fingertips brushing mine as he pointed out something on one of the pages, and my heart rate increased slightly. I really hoped he didn't notice - if he did, he gave no recognition of it.

"If you'll excuse me, I have to head off to the hospital." He said after a moment and I nodded. "Help yourself to anything. This is your home now, all right?" Again, I nodded, curls falling around my face.

"Have a good day at work." I flashed a smile that he returned before sweeping out the door.

. . .

Two days later, and I had officially been adopted into the Cullen home.

Bella and Alice were already my best friends, having taken me shopping. I had resigned my job, so I now had to busy myself in other ways - although, I didn't regret having a job. I didn't have a need to escape my home now. The Cullen home offered plenty of other things to keep me busy. I had started with the rose bushes the day before, and they were now trimmed and growing perfectly - I had actually gotten Rosalie to help me with them. We hadn't spoken, but she had come out to help and disappeared again once we'd finished. Yesterday I had spent most of the day reading the book Carlisle had told me to, and was halfway through another one he had suggested.

I had to admit, I liked it here.

Today, however, Carlisle had requested I come with Bella to his study that day. He did all of his research into cures and substitutes there when he wasn't working at the hospital.

"Esme, do you mind if I take some of your blood with Bella's?" He'd asked and I'd shaken my head, which was how I found myself sitting next to the girl as he drew blood first from her arm, then from mine, storing both samples in a small silver case.

"I use human blood samples and compare them to different substances, to see if there are any that can parallel to it." He explained to me. "So far, my attempts have been unsuccessful."

"I'm sure you'll find something." I told him and he smiled.

"We can only hope."

Carlisle suddenly looked over my shoulder and I followed his gaze - little Alice was looking wild eyed, standing in the doorway to his study. She was in front of him in a split second.

"Alice, what's wrong?"

"They're coming." She said in a deathly quiet tone. "They know about your research, and that you have two humans here now."

If it were possible, Carlisle's face grew pale. Bella inhaled sharply - I was missing something again. Who were 'they'?

"All right. Alice, I want you to gather the others. Tell them to pair off and be ready to leave in ten minutes. How long do we have?"

"Not long."

"Make it five."

Alice disappeared and Carlisle was suddenly rushing about, gathering up all of his research. Bella had appeared with a duffle bag and he was carefully placing everything into it.

"What's going on?" I asked curiously. He didn't look up as he spoke.

"Have you ever heard of the Volturi?"

"They run the vampires from Italy. Charles mentioned them once." I replied softly, confused. "Why are they coming here?"

"They're old friends of mine, you could say, and aren't exactly happy. They believe that most of their race deserves to die out, and have on many an occasion tried to stop me from my research. They don't like Bella, either, because they want the humans for themselves. They have their own farm, and they use your idea - take a little blood at a time to use so the humans can regenerate the blood and build up their stores. And now because I have another human here, they're coming again for another visit. Only we're not going to be here when they arrive."

"This is my fault?" I asked in a small voice, suddenly feeling very self conscious of myself. He stopped in front of me, hands suddenly on my shoulders, darkened golden eyes boring into mine.

"This is not your fault, Esme. If anything, I had it coming. I was wondering when they would come again. They're trying to use you as an excuse for their behavior." He assured me before going back to throwing things in the bag Bella held. "But don't worry. We've ran the last two times, we can run again. It's usually a while before they find us again."

"Where this time?" Bella asked quietly.

"I don't know. We'll figure that out in a minute. I've got it from here - go get ready with the others. Esme, you might want to change clothes - something warm, probably."

I obeyed silently. This wasn't good. I was the excuse that the terrible Volturi were now coming back after Carlisle. They were horrible vampires - Charles had complained about them frequently, because they put restrictions on blood banking and everything. I didn't know much more about them except the fact that they were evil and horrible creatures that most of the vampires in the world despised, but were forced to obey them -otherwise they would come to kill you.

I hurried back to my room and pulled on a pair of jeans, a pair of boots, and one of my favorite jackets that Alice had picked out - it was a purple zip up and I loved it. I pulled my hair back and out of my face, sweeping my bangs aside before I hurried back downstairs, where everyone else waited.

"Alice and Jasper are flying down to Louisiana, leaving Rose and Emmett to head west to California." Edward was saying as I entered the living room.

"You and I are taking Bella and Esme up north. We'll split at the border - you two head east and we'll head toward Alaska. Make sure you all have your phones on at all times." Carlisle stated, standing there in his own dark blue jacket and jeans. His face held a serious look, one I had never seen before.

"Where are we meeting up this time?" Jasper asked quietly.

"Here. We're going to stay gone for a while, giving them enough time to get fed up and head back to Italy. We'll take turns circling back every few days to see if they're staking out the house. We're not moving again."

They all nodded at once, and before I knew it, Rose, Emmett, Alice, and Jasper had all disappeared. I heard car engines outside.

"I'm sorry." I murmured as we headed outside as well.

"Don't be. It's not your fault." Edward said in return. "Cars or no, Carlisle?"

"I'd rather not. Too easy to trace." Carlisle murmured. I watched as Edward nodded and held out his hand toward Bella, who easily leapt onto his back. I frowned slightly, looking back at Carlisle, who was holding his hand out to me in the same manner.

"What?"

"We're running. I highly doubt you can keep up." He gave a weak grin that I tried to return, but I was still feeling terrible, knowing somehow that it was all my fault. I took his hand and the next thing I knew I was on his back, as if he were about to give me a piggy-back ride.

I realized my mistake in assuming that as soon as he and Edward started moving.

Green blurred by and it felt like I was riding in a convertible with the top down at 80 mph, my hair blowing freely behind me as it came loose from the bun I'd pulled it back into. I felt strangely sick, but I pushed that back, and tried to enjoy the situation - it almost felt like flying, once you pushed past the nausea. I had forgotten vampires could run for such long distances - and we had a long way to go apparently. It was sad, how the entire family had to split up, but we would be back near Columbus in no time. Carlisle had promised. If not, well, then I liked snow. Alaska wouldn't be so bad.

I hoped.

They ran straight through the night - I think I had somehow managed to drift off to sleep for a few minutes. We were well into Canada, and by morning, close to the Alaskan border.

"Where are we staying in Alaska?" I asked in Carlisle's ear.

"I have a friend who owns a cabin up there - he doesn't use it this time of year." He replied. "We'll stay there for a few days. We'll probably be moving around the state a lot."

I only nodded. It was getting colder and colder, and with the force of the wind from the running, my body was numb in parts, especially my face. I had to bury it in Carlisle's shoulder to shield it several times, but it hardly helped. I was still shivering - I now understood why he had told me to dress warm. I hadn't thought we'd be going through Canada and Alaska. Even in summer, they did well to make it above freezing. I was glad we didn't have to deal with rain though, and snow didn't hit us until we were just over the Alaskan border. Edward split up with Bella from us then, heading to the north while Carlisle and I continued to the west, toward the coast.

Three days and I had already torn their family apart.


	4. Chapter 4

Alaska was cold. Colder than any winter I had ever experienced. Except this was actually their summer, apparently, and it was still freezing cold. I was shivering by the time we stopped again after nearly a solid day of running. I knew my stomach was growling like some sort of animal from hunger. We were stopped in another forest - it was near the west coast, and even here it was still super icy and snowy. I looked over - there was a cozy log cabin not far off, nestled between the trees.

"You can get down now."

I blushed slightly, realizing that we had been standing there for a long moment, me still clinging to Carlisle's neck. I let go and stood, and very nearly slid sideways - the snow was covered with a layer of ice on the top. Carlisle grabbed my arm to steady me, easily standing on the smooth surface.

"I almost forgot how clumsy humans were. Although, I have to say you're less prone to accidents than Bella."

Well, that was comforting. Somewhat. I shivered involuntarily and he held on tight to my arm, steering us inside.

It wasn't exactly warm inside, but Carlisle was already moving around quickly, lighting a fire in the fireplace of the living room. It was cozy, to sat the least. He disappeared upstairs and came back with several blankets that he wrapped around me.

"Better?"

"Much, thank you." I replied kindly. I was almost jealous he didn't get cold or hot like normal humans did, and right then I looked silly shivering in front of a fire, wrapped in layer of blankets. Carlisle disappeared into the kitchen, returning this time with a mug of hot chocolate and a ham and cheese sandwich for me.

"I could have gotten it." I said meekly, sitting down on the sofa. He sat down beside me, staring into the flames. A flat screen hung on the wall and I briefly wondered why someone would have a television out here. I didn't dwell on it, too focused on warming up. As I drank the hot chocolate, it warmed me up to the tips of my toes, and brought feeling back into my body.

"Don't worry about it." Carlisle assured with a cheeky grin. "You should probably get some rest. You look exhausted."

Truth be told, I was. I was hoping he wouldn't notice, but the yawn I attempted to stifle gave me away anyway, and I sighed. It was hard to argue with him, so instead I finished off my hot chocolate and sandwich and got to my feet - I reached to take my plate and mug back into the kitchen, but he grabbed them before me and was already taking them there.

"You don't have to wait on me hand and foot, you know." I added as he returned. He chuckled.

"I don't mind. There's a bedroom upstairs. Sleep as long as you'd like. I'll wake you up if we have to move again."

I didn't have much room to object, and instead forced myself up the stairs. There were two doors - one I assumed was the bathroom, and the open door was the bedroom Carlisle had said was up here. I didn't hesitate or bother to unwrap the blankets around myself, instead just choosing to fall straight into bed.

When my eyes cracked open, it was dark again. I assumed nothing had come up because Carlisle hadn't awakened me. I laid there a long moment, staring at the ceiling of the cabin. I was warm, finally, still curled under the blankets. For a moment I thought I would wake up back in my bed at the Cullen house, but then I remembered I had brought the Volturi down on the Cullens. No matter how many times any of them would tell me, I felt as though it were my fault for not refusing to go home with Carlisle.

I finally crawled out of bed, keeping one blanket wrapped around me as I slipped my shoes back on and headed downstairs. Carlisle was sitting on the couch, staring at the television where the news was playing - the volume was so low I couldn't hear it, but I knew he could, by the way he was staring intently at it. His cell phone was lying on the coffee table in front of him, as if he had just gotten a call.

"Did you sleep okay?" He asked without tearing his gaze from the television.

"Fine, thanks."

I sat down on the couch beside him, my gaze drifting to the television.

"Any news?"

"Edward, Jasper, and Emmett have all checked in. They're fine. Alice and Jasper are doubling back though to watch the house, to see if the Volturi are still there."

"They're already at the house?"

"They've been there for several hours already." Carlisle said. His tone was quiet, and had an odd sort of tone to it, one that concerned me slightly. Without thinking, my hand went out to gentle wrap around his, squeezing his icy hand in a gesture of comfort.

"It'll be okay."

He returned the squeeze and gave me a fleeting smile. "I know." He didn't pull away from my hand, so I kept my fingers curled within his as we sat there, staring at the television for a long moment. I gave an involuntary shiver - it had been warmer under all the blankets.

"Cold?"

I shook my head, but he chuckled and got to his feet, stoking the fire to get it going again. I guess he had let it die down, considering he didn't feel the coldness. I did. Once he had gotten the fire going again, he sat back down on the couch and grabbed my hand again, tugging me toward him. I frowned slightly, but the next time he tugged was harder, so I moved toward him. He pulled me tightly into his embrace, me curling into his side as his arms wrapped around me, tightening the blanket. Even if his skin was icy, it was certainly better in his arms than being in the cold.

"Better?"

I nodded, my hand moving to curl on his chest, my other arm pinned to my side from where his arms were wrapped around me. I sighed in content for a moment, my gaze going from the television to the fire to watch as the flames danced across the logs. I felt a bit odd in his embrace - not even Charles had ever held me in such a position. But I had to remember that we were in danger. I liked Carlisle, yes, but I didn't want involved in a relationship with another vampire, even if he had a heart of gold.

Not to mention I was still not okay from the death of my child.

As the thought hit me, so did a sharp stab of pain in my heart. I hadn't thought about him in a while. I didn't want to. It hurt too much. Losing a son was something I had never really thought about before, but now that it had happened, I wanted to push it from my mind. That part of my life was being pushed behind for now.

We sat there for a long time, long after my legs had gone stiff. His phone rang not long after that, and he barely shifted as he leaned forward to grab it off the table before pulling me back close. I was close enough to where I could hear both sides of the conversation.

"Hello?"

"_They're gone." _Edward's voice said and Carlisle breathed a sigh of relief. "_Bella and I are almost home. The others are already there."_

"All right. Stay safe. We'll see you soon."

Carlisle hung up and pocketed the phone, looking down at me with a small smile.

"It's safe. You ready to head back home?" He asked and I nodded, not really wanting to face the cold again. I sighed as he pulled the blankets off of us and got to his feet, beginning to clear the mugs from last night. I took the hint and began to make the couch, folding back up the blankets and replacing them on the back of it. As soon as I had draped the last one across it though, he reached out and grabbed it, wrapping it back around me.

"It's going to be cold." He explained. "My friend won't mind if we borrow a blanket."

He tightened it around me before we headed back outside. The wind was whipping loudly, snow blowing up and around us. I tugged the blanket around me - it was freezing. Carlisle crouched and I climbed back onto his back, managing to keep the blanket around me as he took off. I gave a shiver and buried my face in his neck.

It took us longer to get back, mostly because it had snowed and even as a vampire, Carlisle had difficulty getting through it.

It was late evening when we got back to the house. I was grateful for the warmth Columbus offered as I slid down from Carlisle's back and we headed inside.

The others met us in the living room, and everything seemed to be a relaxed picture - Emmett and Jasper were sitting on the floor in front of the couch playing a video game while Rose sat on the couch, playing with Emmett's hair. Alice was playing a game of chess with Edward in the corner, Bella watching intently.

"They left a note." Alice said without looking away from the chessboard, handing a folded up piece of paper to Carlisle, who unfolded it, eyes scanning it. I stood there for a long moment, as Carlisle suddenly let out a laugh.

"It's not very threatening." He crumbled it in his hand. He looked over at me as I frowned. "Don't worry about it, Esme. It's nothing important." He added and I gave a short nod.

"All right."

Three days later, it was Jasper who found me sweeping the back porch. Carlisle was at work, the girls had gone shopping, and Emmett and Edward had gone to run several errands. He held out a glass of iced tea to me that I took with a quiet thank you, propping the broom up against the railing. I had been straightening the backyard most of the morning, including the garden, and it would be my next goal to get to the house.

"Do you need any help?" Jasper asked, leaning up against the railing as I sat down in the porch swing.

"I've got it, thanks. How are you?"

He shrugged, shoving his sleeves up and folding his arms across his chest. As the light hit his skin, I noticed the criss-crossing of bite marks across his arm. I wondered what had happened to him, but I said nothing. It wasn't my business.

"I'm surprised you've adjusted so well to being in a house full of vampires." He commented. It was my turn to shrug.

"I'm used to being around them. My ex-husband took me to these galas and parties with other vampires. I was usually the only human around."

"You didn't like it, did you?"

I shook my head. "I hated it with a passion. I usually just ignored everyone though - I was usually going through my lesson plans for my class the next day."

"You were a teacher?" He had sat down next to me on the bench and I nodded.

"Yeah. I taught a kindergarten class. I actually met Carlisle then. One of my kids broke their leg and he came in to fix her up." I replied. That seemed like so long ago. In reality, it had only been barely a month or so ago. It was odd to think about it. "I would still teach, but . . . ." I trailed off and he gave a nod, understanding. I couldn't teach anymore, not without Charles. He had kept me in my position, keeping me from being captured and thrown on a farm.

"You don't have to worry, Esme. Carlisle will keep you safe from them."

I blushed slightly. "I still don't want to impose. He's already had to haul my butt up to Alaska and back, and I feel bad enough about that."

"Don't worry about that, either. He doesn't mind." Jasper replied. He seemed to be hiding something - I could tell by the look on his face.

"What is it?"

" . . . . Nothing."

"Don't lie to me." I warned with a slight smirk, folding my arms across my chest. He let out a chuckle.

"Carlisle . . . thinks highly of you, is all."

I arched an eyebrow. What was that supposed to mean? But Jasper didn't elaborate and instead stared across the yard, leaving me to swirl my tea in my glass.

"Carlisle said you tried to kill yourself."

I looked up at him sharply, alarmed he had brought that up. I did nod silently, however. It wasn't exactly a sensitive subject, just something I didn't really feel like talking about. I had been in a state of emotional distress.

Suddenly, my panicked feeling at talking about it went away, and a wave of clam washed over me. I knew Jasper was doing it - Edward had told me about his gift.

"I . . . my baby had just died. He was practically my only reason for living. I saw no other option - Charles had been the only thing keeping me from being sent to one of those nasty farms. I didn't want it to be painful. I was looking for a quick death and it seemed my only way out." I murmured quietly, knowing he probably understood the emotions I was feeling for a particular reason.

Jasper gave a sad smile.

"I'm sorry you were in such distress. But like I said before - you have no reason to fear the rest of our kind again. Carlisle and the rest of us will protect you. You're family now."

I gave a returning smile and found his hand, giving it a squeeze of reassurance.

"That means a lot to me, Jasper. I'm glad."

"It's not just me. Everyone else thinks it too."

"Even Rose?"

"She's . . . working on it." He said with a chuckle. I giggled, taking a sip of tea. I hoped Rose would come around - I wasn't a bad person just because I was human. "Give her time."

"It's fine. I don't expect everyone to love me. I've barely been here two weeks - which you can take some days out of since we had to split up."

"It doesn't matter. You seem to be the missing puzzle piece to our family."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

He only gave a sheepish grin, and said nothing else on it. I frowned again - apparently I was missing something again. Shaking my head and letting hair fall down into my face.

Jasper retreated back inside soon after and I returned to working in the flowerbed, hooking up the hose to water the plants. They were dropping again - I didn't blame them, with as hot as it was outside.

What Jasper had said still bothered me slightly. Carlisle liked me, apparently. Or admired me. I wasn't sure exactly how I was supposed to take that. Now I was a missing puzzle piece? I wasn't exactly sure what that meant either, but either way, it made me feel slightly special to know that I was accepted into their family.

With the feeling I was being watched, I looked up, surprised to see Carlisle leaning against the side of the house, arms folded across his chest as he watched me water the flowers. Smiling innocently, I lifted the hose just enough so that some of the spray managed to get his pants wet. He arched an eyebrow at me, stepping forward. We stared at each other a long moment.

With lightning speed, he suddenly grabbed the hose and turned it on me. I shrieked and attempted to run, but he easily kept up with me, chasing me around the yard and spraying me viciously in the back. I turned and grabbed onto the hose, trying to wrestle it away from him. Water sprayed everywhere, drenching us both as I managed to keep a grip on it, even with his strength. We were both laughing.

I stepped backward, trying to pull the hose away when I suddenly tripped and stumbled backward, falling on my back and pulling Carlisle with me. He landed on the ground beside me, both of us still laughing as the hose sprayed upward now, causing it to feel like rain coming down on us.

"That," I began, trying to catch my breath. "was uncalled for."

"You started it." He replied childishly and my arm came over to nudge him playfully. He chuckled as we laid there, staring up at the sky for a long time.

He looked over at me with a sudden grin on his face.

"Do you like baseball?"


	5. Chapter 5

Cheering echoed all around me - I'd never heard so much noise. Vampires sure as hell were loud. It got even louder when the Columbus team scored a homerun - fireworks shot off into the sky above whenever that event happened. And it was happening a lot. I'd never been to a baseball game before.

"This is nothing compared to what's later." Carlisle said from beside me as he shifted on the bench. We were actually watching the game from the home team's dug-out, surrounded by the players who high-fived and grinned broadly at Carlisle whenever they passed. Apparently Carlisle knew several members on the team - he had treated all of them at least once for various injuries, and could get practically anything he wanted if he pulled the right strings.

"What's later?" I asked as the smack of a ball echoed loudly and the vampire up to bat ran around the bases in a blur.

"Our own baseball game."

I looked at him, slightly confused, but he only flashed another smile at me, tugging down on his hat to block the sun from his eyes. I mirrored his actions, reaching briefly around to the back of my head to tighten my ponytail. I glanced up at the large windows on the other side of the stadium - Rose and Emmett were there at the indoor restaurant, watching the game in style. Edward and Bella were in the stadium seats directly behind us, and Jasper and Alice had chosen to sit in the other team's dugout because of the bet they had with Carlisle that the opposing team would win.

I happened to glance up at the scoreboard and noticed the score - we were currently losing, but not by far. Now they were going around with the cameras with the 'kiss cam' to get couples together.

It was two seconds later that Carlisle and I appeared on the screen.

I instantly blushed and moved to duck out of the way of the camera, but not before Carlisle snuck a kiss on my cheek. I laughed at his icy lips against my cheek. I hid my face against his arm until the camera had gotten away from us. By then, they had returned to the game. Carlisle was still chuckling and I just shook my head.

By the end of the game, Alice and Jasper had lost their bet, ironically enough.

After Carlisle had said goodbye to each member of the Columbus team and congratulated them on their win and introduced me - apparently most of them were surprised to see a human there, and were actually glad they had at least one human able to watch them - we met the others in the lobby of the stadium.

"One hour?" Emmett asked, bouncing from one foot to the other rather excitedly. Carlisle looked at Alice, who gave an excited nod.

"One hour it is. Rose, you and Emmett go on ahead to the field with Bella and Esme in the jeep. The rest of us will take the cars back home and grab the stuff."

"Sweet." Emmett gave Jasper a high-five and then turned to Bella and I. "Let's go ladies!"

"Where exactly are we going?" I looked back at Carlisle as Emmett threw his arm across my shoulders and steered us toward his jeep.

"You'll see. Trust me."

Bella and I climbed into the back seat and she showed me how to hook the harness on properly. Apparently we were going off road. Emmett climbed in the driver's seat while Rose gracefully pulled herself into the passenger's seat.

Music blared from the speakers as we drove, playing some rock band that I'd never heard of. Emmett was rocking out as we barreled down the street, back out of Columbus. We bypassed the drive that led back to the Cullen house, instead going another ten miles and turning down a dirt road I had never seen before.

On several occasions, my head nearly nailed the top of the jeep as we bounced up and down over the rocks and bumps, flinging me this way and that. Rose was laughing at Bella and I as we were flung around in the backseat, knocking against each other as Emmett seemed to be deliberately hitting the bumps.

We skidded to a halt somewhere in the middle of the forest and I leapt out before any more damage could be done to my body via vehicle. Rose was still laughing at us as we followed her and Emmett into a large clearing - Carlisle and the others had already made it there and were tossing several baseballs back and forth.

"I don't have to play against you guys, do I?" I asked weakly. Carlisle laughed as we approached, having heard my question.

"We'll take it easy."

I looked over at Bella, who was shaking her head.

"Can I just play catcher?"

"Fine with me. Bella plays referee, so you'll be near home plate with her." Carlisle said and handed me a glove - I could just hear the bones in my fingers breaking from catching a baseball thrown by a vampire.

I walked with Bella to the home plate that had been set up, crouching behind it. Bella stood off to one side, watching as they decided who would be up to bat first - Carlisle won.

He flashed me a smile as Edward, Emmett, and Alice scattered to the field, leaving Jasper and Rosalie on Carlisle's side, up to bat after him.

I watched as Alice threw the ball in a blur, before the deafening sound of the ball hitting the bat cracked through the air, and Carlisle took off. I could feel the wind off the bat and his take-off against my face as he ran around the bases, the ball flying through the trees. Emmett and Edward had disappeared, off to catch it.

He rounded first, second, third and was on his way home when I saw the ball flying back toward me. I winced and moved to catch it - the ball slammed into my glove and I hissed in pain, but touched it to the base a split second before Carlisle touched it.

"Out!" Bella called with a laugh. "First one in a while Carlisle. By a human too."

Carlisle just shook his head and got to his feet, dusting himself off as I tossed the ball back to Alice, who caught it with ease. I pulled my hand out of my glove and shook it - nothing broken, but it hurt like hell.

"Your hand okay?"

"Hurts." I muttered. "I've had worse."

He took the glove from me and tossed it aside.

"Play referee with Bella then. Can't have you hurting yourself." He murmured, taking my hand in both of his, examining as if he hadn't believed me about it not being that bad.

"It's fine." I muttered, jumping slightly when I heard the crack of Jasper nailing the ball. Carlisle let my hand drop from one hand, but kept his other hand wrapped around it as he pulled me more aside, walking toward a set of boulders that looked like they had been moved there as seats almost. He helped me up onto one before climbing up to sit beside me.

"You don't have to sit out with me. I'm fine, and now your team is down a player."

"Don't under estimate Rose and Jasper." He said, nodding toward Jasper as he slid into home, just as Rosalie took off for first, having hit the ball into the trees once more.

"You guys play baseball often?"

"Not as much as we'd like to anymore." He gave a shrug. "We've had to move around in big cities more than anything, and there's not exactly any fields around to play in."

"You're closer than any coven of vampires I've ever seen." I commented. I had noticed it - they weren't just a coven or a clan. They were a family. I was almost jealous of it - I'd never had a family so close. I'd wanted one, but never had one. They weren't even related by blood, but that didn't matter. Carlisle was their father figure, and the others were the children, siblings that fought and became best friends in the next instant.

All they were missing was a mother.

But I wasn't going there. Not now.

"A lot of people say that, funny enough. We've been together so long - and I've made sure that nothing happens to them. A lot of bad things happens to rogue vampires too, and I'm afraid had I not been the ones to change them and adopt them into my family - their immortal lives would have ended shortly."

"Just like you did with me."

"Yes."

"That's very kind of you."

He gave a fleeting smile.

"As I've heard."

I returned his smile, and something fluttered in my stomach at the action. I turned my attention back to the ballgame, my hand still wrapped in Carlisle's icy one.

. . .

I was cleaning up the living room a few days later when I found a sketch book. I had never seen it before, so I flipped through the drawings. Some were of locations and places - a diner, a civil war battlefield, a large Victorian house - but the ones toward the end, the newer drawings, were mostly of Carlisle, often with him a pale woman who looked almost familiar. I frowned as I tried to place where I'd seen her before, but it didn't ring any bells.

"Oh those aren't finished!" I heard a petite voice call from behind and the next instant the sketch book was snatched from my hands. Alice now stood in front of me, holding the sketch book behind her back. "Sorry. I don't like showing people unfinished drawings."

"Well, if you don't mind me saying, what you have drawn so far are very good, Alice. I wish I could draw half as well as you seem to be able to."

She beamed, flashing pearly white teeth.

"Thanks."

I returned the brilliant smile before she disappeared in a pale blur back up the stairs.

Grabbing the book I had been reading earlier, I retreated to my room and began to read again, reclined in my bed. I was still slightly unsure of what to think of yesterday. Carlisle had held my hand and kissed me on the cheek. My mind was telling me not to let it develop into something. Any sort of relationship with a vampire I'd ever had, had been bad. Very bad. Although, there didn't seem to be a mean bone in Carlisle's body. My heart was telling me to go for it. Problem was, I wasn't sure which one to listen to.

Carlisle was good-hearted. I knew that from the moment he had rescued me from my stupid self and prevented me from jumping that night. He ate animal blood instead of human blood, and that was a big plus in my books. He seemed to genuinely care for everyone in his family too, including me, even if we had known each other only a few weeks. Not to mention he wasn't bad looking either.

Although, I didn't know why I was even thinking about all of it. It wasn't as if we were dating.

Part of me kind of hoped we would.

I shook that from my mind. Carlisle had enough problems. He didn't need to worry about dating a human now. Maybe once all the problems were settled - but by the time they were resolved I'd be in my eighties or older. I was certain Carlisle did not like that kind of older woman.

Then again, he was over 300 years old. Cradle robber.

Then there was the problem of me being a human, and him a vampire. Those relationships didn't work out often, and I knew firsthand that they didn't. He wasn't about to become human anytime soon , and I wasn't willing to become a vampire. Not yet.

I sighed, trying to focus on my book, but it wasn't working. Carlisle wasn't leaving my head - his presence had taken up residence in my mind, and didn't plan on leaving anytime soon. I reached up to rub my temple just as a soft knock came at the door. I had barely thought the words 'come in' before Edward entered, shutting the door behind him.

"Hello Edward. What can I do for you?" Part of me wondered if he had been listening to my thoughts the entire time. I turned pink at the idea of it and he let out a soft chuckle.

"I heard, yes, but it's none of my business. Unless you want my advice on the matter."

"And what's your advice, Mr. Cullen?" I patted the edge of my bed for him to come and sit, which he did. I shifted to sit Indian style in the center of my mattress.

"I know you haven't exactly had good relations with vampires before, but most of us - us being the others and myself - think you're the missing piece to our puzzle."

"Puzzle?" Jasper had said the same thing.

"It's Carlisle's analogy. He's always described our family as one. Each of us are a border piece that connects with that other special piece in the puzzle - Alice and Jasper, Rose and Emmett, and Bella and I. We make up the border of the puzzle, and he's the one in the middle, connected to all of us. He doesn't want to admit it, but there's still a piece missing - that special piece that he hasn't connected to that makes the puzzle whole."

"You're hoping I'll be that missing piece."

Edward nodded. "He wouldn't like me telling you this, but I've been hearing his thoughts recently. Its sort of hard to block them out anymore, really. They're mostly about you."

"Me?"

"Yeah. In a good way. I've never seen his thoughts in such a tangled mess."

"Because of me?"

"Because of you."

I looked down, staring at my hands in my lap. Edward was insinuating that Carlisle liked me - a lot more than I had seemed to realize. And now he was here, asking me to be with Carlisle. To play mother to him and his siblings, just as Carlisle was their father.

"Think about it? Don't let the fact of his immortality separate you. Not all vampires are evil, narcissistic, and greedy. We're quite kind when we choose."

I couldn't help but give a small smile.

"I'll think about it."

"I'll hold you to that." He tapped his temple and I giggled.

"Where is your father, by the way? He's got the day off and I haven't seen him all day."

"He was in his office working on his research, but he's on the back porch right now."

"Thank you'"

He left, and I waited a moment before I jumped off my bed and headed downstairs, toward the back porch.

Carlisle was there, as promised, sitting on the steps leading down from it. I stood there silently for a moment before moving to sit beside him on the steps. He had his sleeves rolled up - his pale skin glittered in the afternoon sun.

"Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to have a soul not damned. I sometimes literally feel innocence radiating off of you."

His voice was oddly flat as he spoke, elbows resting on his knees as he leaned forward, hands linked together. I wondered what had brought the sudden subject of damned souls up, but I rested a hand on his shoulder.

"Your soul is in no way damned, Carlisle. You're as innocent as the day you were born." I said quietly.

"I'm glad someone thinks so."

"I'm sure a lot more than I believe so. You've helped so many people, and saved everyone in your family -"

"And made them just as damned as me."

"- And are one of the kindest vampires I've ever met. You're researching something that could save both your race and mine. Not to mention you don't even kill humans. There is no way your soul, or anyone else's in this family could even possibly be the slightest damned." I continued, as if he had not interrupted. We sat in silence for a long moment, until I decided to continue on my little rant.

"I don't think any vampire is damned. Sure, they might do bad things, but that's their own decision. Being a vampire - it doesn't automatically damn your soul to hell. Being who you are and what you decide to do to with your life damns your soul. Those vampires that kill for sport and such - those are the damned ones. You, Carlisle, are not damned."

He didn't say anything for another long moment. I stared at the grass, leaning against the railing with my arms folded across my chest. I hope he didn't think I had been too forward, but there was no way someone like Carlisle could be damned.

"You're something, Esme." He said finally and I looked over at him. He was staring at me, eyes a soft, light topaz in color. I turned a light shade of pink and his icy hand came up to brush hair from my eyes, fingers brushing against my cheek where it was flushed in color. "You really are. I've never met anyone like you."

"I'm serious, Carlisle. You're not damned."

"I know." He looked down at his arm glittering in the sun, resting next to my own arm, which was several shades darker than his, and freckled across the top from so much sun.

"You're still much more innocent than me. I hope that never gets taken from you."


	6. Chapter 6

I hated life at that very moment.

I stood quietly in the hall of the hospital, not paying any attention to anyone else. I was the only human within the entire building, but everyone understood well enough that if they were to touch me, Carlisle would murder them where they stood.

I didn't doubt he would.

I pressed a hand to my neck - I had a rather large bandage taped to it, as well as others wrapped around my wrists. It had not been a good day. Bella and I had dared to venture out on our own to do a bit of shopping - which had been a rather large mistake on our parts. We'd barely gotten downtown when vampires were on us, attempting to drag us both off to farms or drain us on the spot. Thankfully, Alice had stepped in - but both of us had already been injured, and both forced to come to the hospital.

I was waiting for Carlisle to realize I was there. He'd see my name on the patient list eventually.

As for now, I had left my room. I didn't want to be stuck there. I shared a room with Bella, but she was asleep - she had been hurt on the upper arms and neck. We hadn't lost a lot of blood, but we now had long gashes in our bodies from the teeth of several vampires who literally tried to rip us open and drag us down the nearest alley.

I stood in front of a panel of glass, staring through it, arms wrapped around myself. I wasn't paying any attention to anything or anyone else other than the little hybrid children on the other side of the glass, who kicked their feet and flailed their arms for attention from the pretty nurses working around the clock with them.

Had I not had extreme drugs in my system, I would have cried. I wanted my son.

I wanted to go home. I was only being held because Alice had made them keep both Bella and I for now, afraid something might go wrong with the wounds. That, and Carlisle had yet to check us out - apparently he was the only doctor Alice trusted at the hospital. I didn't blame her.

I smiled slightly at the hybrid infants in front of me behind the glass.

"Esme!"

I looked over to see Carlisle taking long strides in my general direction. I blinked, my mind still slightly in a haze from the pain killers and drug cocktail they had put into my system.

"You're supposed to be in bed." He said, pulling me into a gentle hug. "Thank God you - and Bella, of course - are okay. Alice told me what happened."

"It's nothing." I murmured, my voice muffled by his lab coat as I buried my face in his shoulder.

"It's not nothing, Esme. You could have been killed."

"I'm a human. You can't except much else unless you're married to one of the rich idiots that like to parade around their pretty human wives and adorable hybrid children."

Carlisle reached up and brushed hair from my face, his cool fingers reaching to brush over the bandage.

"I want to look at this. Let's get you back to your room."

He escorted me back to my room. Bella was still asleep, and apparently Alice had gone home to get a few things, according to the note on the table between the two of us. He began to unwrap the bandages, checking the gashes that had finally stopped bleeding. His fingers gently brushed over them, his lips pulling into a frown.

"Want me to heal them?"

I looked at him, confused.

"Do you trust me?"

I nodded. I trusted Carlisle with my life.

He set the bandages aside and took one arm. Glancing at me one last time, his lips pressed to the very top of my cut, working his way down, kissing almost every inch of the gash along my arm. Each kiss felt like ice water was being dumped across it, but when he had moved down far enough on the gash and I could see the top, I noticed it was nothing but a faded scar. I blinked. What had he done?

He repeated his actions with my other arm, both of them now bearing scars where the gashes had been.

"Vampire venom," He said carefully. "Is not always a bad thing to have."

He started reaching for my neck and paused, looking to me for confirmation. I reached up and brushed my hair back, tilting my head slightly to expose my neck to him. Usually, that would be the worst thing a human could possibly do, but it bothered me none that it was to Carlisle.

His lips pressed against my throat gently, the feeling of ice water running over the gash rushing across me again. The kissed trailed down my neck along the gash, and when he leaned back up, I imagined I had a pale scar there now too.

"Thank you." I whispered quietly and he gave a short nod, throwing the bandages in the trash on the other side of the room. He then took both of my hands in his.

"Promise me something?"

"Yes?"

"Don't go out alone again. Even with Bella. Your life is too fragile to do things like that - make sure Alice or someone is with you. Me, preferably, if I don't have to work."

"All right. Promise."

"Good. Now, are you hungry? They probably haven't fed you here yet, have they?"

I shook my head and he helped me back down from the bed. I glanced over at Bella - I could bring her back something to eat. Carlisle hooked his arm through mine and we began down the hall. I kept looking down at the scars on my arms, before glancing sideways at him.

"Did it hurt?" I asked in a quiet voice. He seemed to know almost instantly what I was talking about.

"Intensely. Once bitten, you have to suffer for three days in such intense pain as your body adapts and turns."

"I'm sorry you had to go through that."

"Me too. Let's hope you never experience such pain."

We turned a corner and entered what I could only assume was his office. It was much like his study, with numerous books, scattered papers, and medical texts covering almost everything, but in an oddly organized way. He steered me into one of the other chairs in his office before he went to a small refrigerator, pulling things out so quickly I couldn't tell what they were until he set them in front of me. A bottle of water, a ham sandwich, and an apple.

"I thought you didn't eat human food?"

"Bella stops by to help out when I'm on break and need her help with my research." He sat down behind his desk. I nibbled on the end of the sandwich.

After a long moment, I silently got to my feet, wrapping the hospital gown tighter around me as I began to walk around his office. He was doing paperwork, and effectively ignored me as I wandered his office. He had several paintings that were doubles of the ones in his study, I noticed.

"Is this you?" I pointed to one of the paintings. I had never looked at it close enough in his study - I'd only grabbed a book and left. The painting was of a group on a balcony - three standing regal, looking over a crowd. Three more vampires lurked in the background, one of them looking an awful lot like Carlisle. The painting was old, as all of the subjects were in Victorian styled clothing.

Carlisle chuckled, suddenly beside me. "Yes, it is. That was quite some time ago."

"Who are these three?" I pointed to the ones that were in the foreground - the closer I looked, I noticed their eyes were red.

"Those, are the leaders of the Volturi. Aro, Caius, and Marcus."

"What are you doing with them?"

"I lived with them for a while. I had nothing else to do, nowhere else to turn while I was trying to figure out how I wanted to spend the rest of my immortal life." He gave a slight shrug. "But I never liked their ways. I only watched, I was never involved. They were getting tired of my good nature by the time I actually left."

"You don't belong with such creatures." I made a face.

"I came to realize that not long after I'd started living with them." He murmured. I stared at the painting. Carlisle had been around for so long. I'd never met any other vampires older than 190. Charles had been only 96. Most of his business partners had been the older ones, the ones I had met briefly before his company had been blown up.

"I know you necessarily don't like them, but I'm mildly curious if you'd like to go to a party with me?"

I glanced back at him as I ran my fingers along the length of the shelf in front of me, brushing the bindings of the old medical texts.

"What kind of party?"

"Hospital benefit party. It's every year, and I usually go alone, but I thought you might enjoy it. We're not as stuffy as the gala parties you're used to."

I couldn't help but give a small smile.

"Are you sure your friends won't mind my human state?"

"If they do, they can take it up with me. And you don't have to give me an answer now. It's not for another two weeks."

I bit my lip, but gave a half smile and nodded.

"Okay. I'll come with you."

He flashed a brilliant smile, leaning around to press a kiss to my cheek. Butterflies awakened in my stomach and I suddenly felt giddy. I hadn't felt like that since the first few weeks of my marriage to Charles, when I thought I loved him. Now Carlisle Cullen was making me feel like this.

I liked it.

I opened my mouth to say something, but his pager went off at that exact moment, as did a voice over the hospital intercom.

"_Dr. Cullen, please report to room 3160. Dr. Cullen, please report to room 3160."_

I looked at him in slight alarm.

"Carlisle - that's mine and Bella's room."

He was gone in a flash, leaving me to hurry after him at a more human pace. My bare feet hit the tiled floor painfully as I ran, skidding to a halt in front of our door. Bella was seizing on the bed, gasping for air, screaming in pain. I looked on in horror - Edward had appeared, and now had blood on his shirt and around his mouth as well. I paled slightly. Bella thrashed violently and Edward had to hold her down with the help of a few nurses. Carlisle grabbed my arm and pulled me from the room, closing the door behind them. I could still hear Bella screaming from within.

"I think we should head back to my office. We're going to head home. Now."

His voice was one of intensity, something I had never heard from him. We walked at a brisk pace toward his office.

"He changed her." I breathed quietly and Carlisle nodded.

"Yes, which he wasn't supposed to do."

We entered his office and he stripped off his lab coat, wrapping it around me. I had the strangest sense of déjà vu, but I didn't say anything as I watched him hurry about his office, gathering up papers.

"Esme, I need you to help me with my research. Bella was my test subject, and I'm so close to a breakthrough, but now I can't use her."

"Of course." I said quickly, raking hair from my face. "Why did he change her?"

"I don't know. But be sure I'm going to talk to him about it when we get home." Carlisle seemed almost angry, and I couldn't understand why. Instead I stood there, and followed him out when he left, wrapping his lab coat tighter around myself.

Edward had already brought Bella home. Carlisle instantly went off to talk with Edward, and Alice pulled me upstairs. Bella was still thrashing on the bed and I winced as Rose and Jasper were trying hard to hold her down and keep her calm.

"That's not going to help." I murmured.

"It's not an easy transformation." Rose muttered through gritted teeth. I silently stepped forward and climbed onto the bed above Bella, allowing her head to rest in my lap. I began to run my hand gently across her forehead, my other cradling her neck, being very careful not to touch the place where she had been bitten.

"Bella, calm down. It will be okay." I said softly, her skin already starting to feel icy against mine. She was sweating profusely. Alice, Jasper, and Rose now stood to the side, watching me intently. I was soothing Bella just like I had done my littlest cousin when she had been sick. That had been long before any of the mess that was going on now, when humans were still in a sort of truce with vampires. I had been a pre-teen, taking care of a little 4 year old.

After a long moment, she stilled, merely twitching every once in a while, her face contorted in pain. I continued to rub her head, running my fingers through her hair. Her hand snapped up and grabbed mine suddenly and clung to it.

"It hurts . . . . I'm on fire . . . ." She cried painfully.

"I know, Bella, I know. Everything will be okay. I'm right here. Try not to think about it. It'll be over soon." I soothed her in a quiet tone until she settled again. I glanced up at the others.

"I've got her if you want to go talk with your father and brother about the matter. I'll yell if anything happens." I offered and Rose instantly left, followed shortly by Jasper. Alice gave a gentle smile before she too left. I leaned back against the pillows and headboard of the bed.

Bella would be a vampire in three days. I'd be the only human left in the house. The idea shouldn't have bothered me as much as it did, so I tried to focus on something else. Anything else.

It wasn't long before I'd fallen asleep.

_The grass tickled my bare feet as I stood on the hill under a large willow tree. I reached up to shade my eyes - Carlisle was suddenly beside me, his skin glittering in the bright sunlight. He kissed me briefly and wrapped an arm tightly around my waist. _

_Then suddenly, he was ripped away. The three Volturi vampires that had been in the painting with him now stood behind him, two of them forcing him to his knees, the other standing in front, hands reaching for his neck. Two more came from nowhere and held me back._

"_Leave him alone!" I cried, staring at Carlisle, who looked genuinely afraid. His eyes locked with mine._

"_I love you." He whispered and I screamed as the vampire ripped his head off his shoulders,_

I woke up screaming, hands clenched around the sheet. I had been moved to my room and Bella was nowhere in sight.

"Are you okay?"

I looked over - Carlisle stood in the doorway, looking alarmed as I sat rigid in bed, shaking and trembling for a moment. It was dark outside - it was the middle of the night. I was clearly not all right, but I didn't want to worry him.

"I'm fine." I said, a bit breathless as I pressed a hand to my chest - someone had changed my clothes for me too, as I was in the large t-shirt and shorts I used as pajamas. I suspected it had all been Alice's doing.

"You're a terrible liar." He stated, moving to sit on the edge of my bed. I uncurled my fists from my sheets and let out a soft sigh, trying to get my breathing and shaking body both under control.

"How's Bella?"

"She's stopped screaming, if that's what you mean. Seems you calmed her down enough. You're good at it."

"Thanks." I brought a hand to my temple, rubbing it, trying to get rid of the headache that was flaring up in the back of my mind.

"Try to go back to sleep." Carlisle said.

"I can't." I said, not looking at him. I couldn't rightly tell him what my dream was about without it being rather awkward - I have having dreams about him now. Well, nightmares to an extent, since he had been murdered before my eyes. I really hoped I hadn't suddenly gotten Alice's gift and I was seeing the future.

"I'll be here when you wake up."

He shifted to lay beside me and I pulled the blankets up around me. He gave a half smile and brushed hair from my eyes, kissing my forehead as I shut my eyes, attempting to fall back asleep.

When I awoke this time, it was morning, and I had ended up with my body curled to Carlisle's, my hands clenched around his shirt. He was looking at me with an amused expression.

"Good morning. Any more bad dreams?"

"None."

"Maybe I should sleep with you every night and keep the bad dreams away."

I couldn't help but giggle, rubbing sleep from my eyes. We laid there for a long moment, and before I could even think about it, I had leaned over to kiss him.

"Thank you for staying the night." I murmured and he only gave a nod, bending down to give me another chaste kiss.

"Anytime."


	7. Chapter 7

In a few days, I was helping Carlisle with his research. Bella would have helped, but she couldn't stand to be near me. She was trying hard to control her urges to drink my blood, but as a newborn, she often had to be diverted away from me by various members of the family. I felt awkward - she had been here longer than I had, and I was practically driving her out of her own home.

Carlisle still stayed with me while I slept, not only to keep away the bad dreams, but in case Bella gave into her urges and decided to have a midnight snack.

"You may feel a bit of a prick."

"You said that the first three times you've taken my blood. I know." I replied, holding my arm out as he chuckled, but stuck a needle into my arm. He'd taken my blood four times now, doing different tests on each one, comparing it to the new substance he had come up with. It was still a bit off, apparently, but he was trying a new one that morning, which was why he was drawing my blood now.

"Here's hoping it works." I murmured, not bothered as he drew two vials. I was used to it now. Once he had drawn the blood he needed, he lifted my arm to his lips and kissed the wound closed. I slid off his desk as he took the blood away, pulling the rubber band off that he had tied around my upper arm.

"Are we still on for tonight?" He asked as I tossed the rubber band on his desk. I smiled.

"Of course."

I wasn't sure if we were technically going as friends, or more than friends tonight to see the independence day fireworks, but either way, we were going alone, and I was giddy about the entire thing. The others were going out to other places for the night, except Edward and Bella, who were going hunting.

"Let me know if you come up with something." I said as he moved to sit back down behind his desk.

"You'll be the first to know."

I flashed a smile before heading out the door of his study -

- and running straight into plastic wrap that had been stretched across the doorway, appearing invisible. I got caught in it and fell to the ground.

Carlisle laughed, and Emmett and Alice came into view, joining in. I glared up at them.

"We were waiting for Carlisle to run into it, but that's just as hilarious!" Emmett's laughter boomed and I rolled my eyes.

Columbus's annual fireworks were still a big deal, even after so many years. Everyone in the city went downtown to watch them, right after the parade. I'd used to love watching them as a little girl, but hadn't had the chance in several years, mostly because Charles had us traveling to spend the 4th of July with his family in New York.

"Keep them closed."

I obeyed silently, keeping my eyes closed, even with Carlisle's fingers covering them just in case. We had been climbing stairs for a while now - he'd made me keep my eyes closed since we'd gotten in the car at the house. I could only hear the sounds of the city in the distance, so I assumed we were outside the city somewhere.

"Hang on - watch your step - okay, open."

He removed his hands at the same time I opened my eyes, and the sight nearly took my breath away. We were at the lookout that sat on the hill in the park just outside of Columbus. The sun was just starting to disappear behind the trees and I leaned forward on the stone wall that surrounded the lookout, looking out across the city building in the distance. On the other side of the wall it was a straight drop, like a cliff - it made me nervous just looking down.

It was then I noticed that Carlisle had set out a blanket along the stone benches, and was holding a glass of wine out toward me. I smiled and took it - he had his own wine glass, but I knew the deep colored liquid inside was far from wine.

"This is beautiful, Carlisle."

"Glad you like it. When the fireworks start, we'll have the best view."

"I thought the park closed about dark?"

"I pulled some strings." He flashed a brilliant smile and I merely shook my head. Edward had told me Carlisle usually didn't pull strings, so now I felt special because it was the third time he had done so for me. Once at the hospital, then at the baseball game, and now this. I didn't need to decide if we were here as just friends or not - we were clearly more than friends.

I sat down on the blanket beside him, leaning against the wall of the lookout, staring back out across the city. While Columbus wasn't exactly spectacular, I had to admit, at night when it was all lit up, it did look beautiful. The lights were already coming on as the sun sank further below the horizon, casting long rays of gold across the fading sky.

I reached up and tucked hair out of my eyes, sipping on the glass of wine Carlisle had given me. It felt nice, to be treated like a lady, and not being slapped in the face every day of my life. This was more of a date than I had ever been on. I smiled at the thought, glancing back at Carlisle, who was watching me. My cheeks turned red when I realized he'd been staring at me the entire time. He only returned the smile and reached up to brush his icy fingers against my flushed cheek.

"It's been a while since I've seen someone blush."

"Well, you know, human and all."

Music was playing in the distance - there was always some sort of party going on down in the city, and they liked their music loud. But it was a slow song, I noticed, but the hectic rock music the fireworks would be played to.

I watched as he got to his feet and extended a pale hand in my direction. I giggled, but set my wine glass down and took his hand, letting him sweep me into a dance to the music playing in the distance - I'd imagine it'd be obnoxiously loud with his sensitive hearing, whereas I could barely hear it.

The rocky surface of the lookout platform forced me to kick off my heels after a moment, leaving me another few inches shorter than him. He was an excellent dancer, and I easily fell into step with him. Like we were made to dance together.

The last of the light disappeared, yet Carlisle continued to spin me in a dance even in the dark.

I nearly stumbled again and Carlisle caught me with a small chuckle.

"Are you always as clumsy when you get nervous?"

"I'm not nervous."

"Your heartbeat tells a different story." He mused - I hadn't noticed, but my heart was doing an unnatural rhythm that instantly gave away I was nervous. I was nervous, yes, because I was dancing with Carlisle Cullen. "And the blush in your cheeks. You don't have to be nervous, Esme. It's just us."

"That's what I'm nervous about."

He twirled me away then pulled me back in close, the purple sundress I wore fanning out slightly as I spun.

"Are you afraid of me?" He asked in a tone that almost sounded hurt.

"Of course not. I could never be afraid of you."

"Then why are you nervous?"

I didn't reply, instead I looked away. I had relationship problems. Being with Charles had made me afraid and nervous about any relationship, even the one I now held with Carlisle. His cool fingers tipped my chin and turned my head back to look at him, forcing my gaze to meet his. His eyes were darker because he hadn't hunted in a while, but they still held the same compassion - I could tell even in the dark.

"I'm not going to hurt you, Esme. I promised I never would. Trust me?"

I hesitated a moment, but nodded. He wrapped his arms carefully around my waist and bent to kiss me - behind us, I was aware that the fireworks had started with loud echoing booms and brilliant displays of color. But I didn't care - my attention was entirely focused on the man kissing me in that moment.

He pulled away after a moment, resting his forehead against mine with a half smile. I felt like I was on fire.

"If you only knew what you did to me, Esme."

"I could say the same thing."

. . .

"Alice, I thought we were going shopping?"

"I already did it for you."

I arched an eyebrow at her as she pulled me into her room and sat me down on her bed. Tonight was the benefit, and I had panicked because I realized I didn't have a dress - I hadn't gone shopping for one, too wrapped up with Carlisle. It was clear the others had noticed the time we were suddenly spending together, considering the knowing looks they threw us and each other when they thought we weren't looking.

As she disappeared into her closet, I looked around, noticing her sketchpad on her nightstand. Curious, I picked it up and began to flip through them - there were more sketches of the one woman with Carlisle. She was still familiar. Where had I seen her before?

When I heard Alice coming back, I replaced it silently. She stepped out of her closet with a dress bag. I eyed her suspiciously but she only grinned, having the strangest feeling that I was about to be Alice's life sized Barbie doll for the night.

She hung the dress bag on a hook on the back of her closet door, before tugging the bag down and away from the dress.

It was beautiful, something I never would have bought myself before. Strapless, it appeared the hug the frame until it extended out and fell in waves to the ground. Silver adorned the bodice of it, but otherwise it was a solid deep red in color. It was utterly beautiful.

"Alice . . . . You really didn't have to buy that for me. That must have been expensive."

She laughed musically. "It doesn't matter how much it cost. I've already seen it on you and you look gorgeous. Carlisle won't want to keep his hands off you."

Another blush rose to my cheeks. She giggled and pulled me to my feet.

"Besides, tonight is going to be very important."

I frowned.

"What does that mean?" Her tone was off, but I couldn't place what sort of tone it was. Just that it was . . . off.

"You'll find out." She flashed a brilliant smile. "Now come on. We have to get you ready."

Alice had been right about one thing - from the moment I had appeared in the living room, Carlisle wasn't able to take his hands off me. Whether it was simply holding my hand or his arm around my shoulders or waist. I didn't mind.

The benefit was being held in the park that Carlisle had taken me to for the fireworks, and for once, I was looking forward toward a party.

We took Carlisle's Mercedes to the other side of the city and he handed off the keys to the valet before escorting me toward the lanterns and dance floor in the distance. Couples were already dancing together, the vibrant gown colors mixing and creating a rainbow across the dance floor. We had barely stepped near the tables when one of the other doctors from the hospital caught sight of Carlisle and myself, and made a beeline toward us, eyes flashing a deep red.

"Hello Carlisle, good to see you. How is your daughter-in-law?"

"One of us now, as lovely as ever." Carlisle replied. "How are you, Kevin?"

"I'm fabulous, thanks. This must be Miss. Platt." His gaze turned in my direction and he extended a hand. I took it - he brought my knuckles to his lips and kissed them. It made me slightly nervous, but I knew they wouldn't attack me. A few other humans were there that night, anyway, so they had plenty of other choices besides me. The trophies wives would be less of a sacrifice than I.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, doctor."

"The pleasure is mine." He gripped my hand a bit too tight and an electric shock ran up my arm. I jumped, pulling away. Carlisle glared at the chuckling doctor. "Sorry, just a bit of humor."

"Why don't you go talk to your wife, Kevin? I think I see her over there with Dr. McCoy and they're looking quite close, if you ask me."

I hid a slight smile at the man's hard look at Carlisle, not daring to let out a small laugh until he was on the other side of the dance floor. Carlisle chuckled from beside me.

"Kevin's like Edward and Alice and Jasper - he has a gift. Although, he believes in using it to torment and get a good laugh out of someone rather than something useful."

"I've met many people like that. Not everyone can be a kind-hearted Cullen, Carlisle." I replied.

"Quite true."

He spun me out onto the dance floor as another song began, this one an older waltz that I didn't know very well. I'd never danced at the parties I'd been taken to, but Carlisle easily led me across the floor - I managed to keep up with his steps.

"May I?"

I looked over as we stopped dancing - Edward stood there with Alice on his arm. I knew they were coming tonight. Bella wasn't able to come because of the human wives that lurked around, so Edward had brought Alice instead, while the others went hunting again.

Edward was extending his hand toward me and I smiled, accepting it. As he pulled me closer to dance, Carlisle grabbed Alice to dance. I laughed. Edward was just as well of a dancer as his father, apparently, but he seemed to like to twirl me more and even went as far as to dip me. Alice kept shooting me odd glances - was I missing something again?

My cheeks flushed and in need of a break, Carlisle escorted me away from the party, down one of the paths that led deeper into the park, not far from the lookout. Our hands were linked together, our heads close.

Suddenly, however, Carlisle let out a low growl and pulled me to stand behind him. I didn't realize why until several men appeared before us, holding what appeared to be some sort of crude flamethrower - fire, the only thing that could kill a vampire besides ripping their head off.

"Stop right there, beast."

I knew instantly these men were a mix of humans and hybrids that had chosen to side with the humans in the resistance against vampires.

"Enjoying your party? Probably drinking the blood of one of us. Did it taste nice?" The man who appeared to be their leader muttered, stepping toward us.

"I don't consume human blood." Carlisle said calmly. "I choose the diet of animals instead."

"That doesn't make you any different." He hissed and I clenched my hand tighter around Carlisle's.

"Hey, Charlie. The lady is a human." One of the others muttered and I paled.

"Traitor." He spat at me. "Deal with her, Max. I'll handle the creature."

Several of them stepped forward and grabbed me, ripping my away from Carlisle. I screamed, trying to cling to his hand, but they pulled me away and farther down the path.

"Esme!"

"Let me go!" I struggled against them, but they held tight, dragging me reluctantly up the hillside path. We were heading for the lookout.

At the top, they shoved me to the edge. I knew in an instant I was going to die. Never to see Carlisle again. I'd be with my baby, but I still didn't want to die. I had a new family now and leaving them behind already hurt me.

One of them grabbed my arm and shoved me roughly up onto the wall of the lookout. I wavered, trying to catch my balance, and I tried not to look down over the edge.

"Leave her alone!"

I turned - Edward stood there with Alice and a violent looking Carlisle.

"She's a traitor and better off dead than with you." The man muttered darkly before pushing me roughly. I lost my fight with my balance and toppled over the side with a scream.

"_Carlisle_!"

"_Esme!"_


	8. Chapter 8

A rush of air, my scream, and then - pain. A lot of it. It enveloped my body as I realized I couldn't move. I stared up at the top of the cliff, unable to do anything but endure the pain. I was dying. Everything hurt. I wasn't going to live long enough to see Carlisle or any other member of my new family again.

I let my eyes slip close, unable to stop a few tears from escaping.

A few seconds later I heard the sound of scattering rock, as if someone were skidding across the rocky base of the cliff. I felt weak - it probably had something to do with the blood loss.

"Esme. . . ."

It was a broken whisper that put me in more pain than I had started in. This was emotional pain more than physical. I forced my eyes open - the edges of my vision were blurry, but I could make out Carlisle's broken, distraught face, hovering above. He'd collapsed to his knees beside me. Edward and Alice stood off to the side, watching silently.

"Do it Carlisle. Save her." Alice said suddenly.

"I . . . can't . . . . She doesn't . . . ." His voice tore my heart - I'd never heard him so distressed.

"I've seen it. You can do it, Carlisle."

It was then I realized what she was talking about. Changing me into a vampire. I had never wanted to be a vampire.

I saw Edward's face shift into a frown - he was listening to my thoughts.

If it would keep me with Carlisle and get this pain to go away, then I now wanted it done. I could feel myself getting weaker - I didn't want to die. I didn't want to leave Carlisle.

"Do it Carlisle. She wants it. You have to do it now before her heart stops."

Carlisle looked down at my broken form. I was losing feeling in my legs and arms.

"Are you sure?" He asked weakly.

_Yes. _I looked directly at Edward, my eye fluttering as I fought to remain conscious. To hell if my soul was damned. I didn't care.

"Hurry, Carlisle. She's fading."

Carlisle's pale icy hand pressed to my cheek, the other gently tugging my hair away, exposing my neck - which was probably bloody too, like the rest of my body.

"I love you." He whispered low in my ear.

_I love you too._

Something cold sank into my skin, as if someone had just dumped ice water across my throat.

Then, the fire came.

I couldn't help it - I screamed. I still couldn't move, so all I could do was scream in pain. My body was on fire - I knew it would be for the next three days. I hoped it wasn't as terrible as this was the entire 3 days.

"I'm sorry. . . ." I heard Carlisle murmur softly. Arms hooked beneath my back and knees as I was lifted - more pain shot through my body. My head turned into Carlisle's arm and I forced myself to scream into his arm, trying not to be so loud. Voices were somewhere, but I didn't care what they were saying. I just wanted the pain to stop.

"It'll stop soon, I promise. . . ." I made out Carlisle's voice again. Apparently Edward was relaying my thoughts.

"Just hang in there, Esme. It'll be over soon . . . ."

My nails dug into his arm, my back arching in excruciating pain. I'd never been in so much pain in my entire life.

I prayed he was right.

**. . .**

For 3 days, I suffered.

Silently, for the most part. After the first day, I was used to the intense pain. Voices faded in and out, but I never caught what they were saying. I could always feel a presence though, whether it was the icy hand holding mine, or the quiet voice saying things I couldn't quite make out - Carlisle.

The second day, I cried. I could feel the hot tears stinging my cheeks. Unless that was the venom. I didn't know what, but either way, Carlisle's hand kept wiping off my cheek, apologizing over and over again. I didn't blame him. I'd wanted this. My life would be easier now, too. I wouldn't have to worry about being a fragile human being. I didn't have to worry about being attacked.

But what Carlisle had said to me before changing me had nagged at me through the pain. He loved me. He wouldn't be lying to me, so I knew he was telling the truth. And I had said it back to him. Or at least thought it. Edward had most likely told him, anyway. At least, I assumed. I hope he did. I hadn't realized my feelings were that strong for Carlisle until that moment, and now, since I would be a vampire, it would be enhanced. Everything was enhanced once you were a vampire. Feelings, emotions, abilities, and everything in between.

The third day, I laid in silence again, having no control over my body. It hurt on and off now, with sudden flare ups of the fire and pain. I could still tell Carlisle was there. The others came in an out, but never strayed too long. I didn't mind. I liked the silence.

After day three, the fire suddenly faded.

I was regaining feeling in the tips of my fingers and toes as the fire ceased, and for a long moment, all that hurt was my heart.

"A few minutes." A pixie voice rang out. Alice.

"She can hear us." Edward said softly. Of course I could hear them. The burning in my heart was decreasing, and after a few moments, I forced my eyes open.

Suddenly, everything was in a different light. I was laying on Carlisle's bed in his room, I noticed, and ever single Cullen was around the edges of the room, watching me. Everything was brighter, each color more vibrant and brilliant.

The television downstairs was on a football game - the 49ers were down by 6 against the Panthers in the 4th quarter. Three miles away, a hiker was resting on a log. There was a fly hovering around the dusty boxes in the attic.

And in .469 seconds, I was halfway across the room, pressed against the wall, afraid. I noticed I now moved with more grace and I moved faster than I'd ever imagined. There was a dull throb in the back of my throat - the hiker suddenly sounded like a good meal. . . .

Suddenly, Edward was in front of me, alarmed.

A snarl ripped from somewhere within me - I never heard such a noise from myself. My mind was running at 4758 mph and I couldn't concentrate as every single thought flooded me. I did the only thing my new instincts told me to do - I ran.

Without even thinking, I headed in the direction the hiker had been in. I could smell his scent and I was running as fast as Carlisle had been on our way to Alaska. I felt reborn, but at the same time, afraid of everything around me. It was too much and I wasn't sure if I could handle it, even with my new indestructible body.

I was near the hiker now, and before he understood what was happening, my instincts forced me upon him, ripping him down and snapping his neck. I bent to his limp form and easily drained his body, the throb in my throat decreasing. My chest was heaving as I got to my feet, and I realized I needed no breath. Either way I was still breathing heavily as I collapsed back against a tree, reaching back to claw my fingers into the bark. I wanted to scream. I had kept everything bottled up and now, as a vampire, I felt the need to let it all out.

If only I could cry.

I heard Carlisle coming two and a half miles before he even reached me. He stopped in the clearing, not looking at the hiker's body. I was afraid if I looked at him, I'd see disappointment. Not even half an hour as a vampire and I had already killed a human in an effort to release the emotions I'd had bottled up.

"Esme." He said softly, approaching me quietly and carefully, obviously afraid I might try to run again.

He gently reached up to brush hair from my eyes and I noticed when his hands touched my cheek that they were warm. I grabbed them, suddenly aware I could feel every groove and line along them.

"It's okay." He murmured, continuing. "You're safe, Esme."

"I know. I'm sorry." My voice was different too. I suddenly wondered what I looked like, but I didn't want to bother with that now. Carlisle gave a small, gently squeeze of my hands.

"We all slip up once. I know you're afraid and scared, but I'm right here, okay?"

I nodded and he pulled me into a tight hug.

"I'm sorry you have to be like this now."

"Don't be." I murmured, my hands finding his way up to his shoulders. "I wanted this, Carlisle. I wanted to stay with you. I'm just - not used to it."

"You're damned just as much as we are now."

"None of us are damned. If anything, we're blessed." I replied. "Blessed because we get to spend forever together with the ones we love."

He buried his face in my hair and I took in his scent - it was much different than what I had smelled as a human. He'd smelled of antibiotics and disinfectant before. Now, under the hospital chemicals, I could trace the smells of peppermint and sandalwood. He smelled absolutely lovely.

"We need to go home." He murmured into my hair, still unwilling to let go. I took his hand and gave a nod.

We ran back toward the house together, and when we arrived, the entire family was standing in various points in the living room, staring at me, as if afraid I'll run again.

"I'm not running." I announced to the room. "Promise. I just - I'm not used to this. You'll have to forgive me."

"Of course, Esme." Edward said and the others nodded in agreement. I gave a wary smile. "It's startling, but you get used to it."

"You'll just have to give me a bit of time."

I clutched Carlisle's hand tightly as we all stood there in a comfortable silence for the moment. I felt like I was missing out on something, at least until Edward handed Carlisle an envelope that had already been opened.

"It came this morning." He said quietly. Carlisle merely tossed it aside - apparently Alice had already told him what was inside. I opened my mouth to ask, but Carlisle began talking before I could ask.

"I'm not sure it would be wise for all of us to go."

"We can all go. It's safer in numbers."

"Go where?" I inquired.

"Volterra."


	9. Chapter 9

If Jasper hadn't been keeping me calm, I probably would have leapt out of the plane window.

Not like it mattered anyway, I wouldn't have died. It was just the point of the matter. I'd rather be anywhere but going to Volterra, to meet the Volturi. They had invited all of us to come and have a meeting with them, and partake in their annual summer solstice masquerade. I was scared to death. Even if I was no longer a fragile human, it scared the living daylights out of me.

Italy was beautiful though, I had to admit. Volterra was on a hill, so you could see the ocean all the way in the distance - I missed beaches. I hadn't been to one in years. Guess I had plenty of time to get to one now though, considering I couldn't die and everything.

We would wait until night before heading into their underground place. Bella and I couldn't handle all the humans in the square during the day, so we waited just outside of the city. While the others explored the area a bit more, Carlisle and I sat within the branches of a large tree, his arms wrapped around me as I sat between his legs on the branch, his back against the thick trunk.

"I'm not sure what they're going to say or do, but I won't let them hurt you." He murmured and I nodded, his fingers playing with my curls. "They're not allowed. Living with them all those years has given me a bit of a truce with them."

"Reassuring to know I won't die right away then."

He chuckled, resting his chin on my shoulder.

"You won't die for a long time. You're stuck with me forever."

I merely smiled, turning my head enough so that I could press a kiss to his cheek.

"I'm fine with that." I mused, tilting my head slightly as he trailed a set of kisses down my jaw line and along my throat, hesitating slightly on the raised crescent where he had bitten me. His lips lingered there, and I sighed in content. I wrapped my fingers in his, reveling in the fact his skin felt so warm to me now.

"Do you miss being human?"

I didn't know how I should answer. I did miss being human - I would never be able to have children and all sorts of things, and then again, I didn't miss being human because I was constantly being stalked by vampires who wanted to kill me and such.

"Some." I said finally. "There are some parts I think I'll miss, but that can't be helped." I gave a small shrug.

"We all miss things from our human lives."

"What do you miss?"

"Sleeping."

I laughed and he pulled me closer, his hands around mine and resting in my lap.

"I think I'll miss that too." I giggled.

We sat in silence for another long moment as the sun started to sink farther below the horizon.

"Can I ask you something?" He said in a serious tone. I nodded, closing my eyes as I rested my head back against his shoulder. He shifted, pulling his hands away.

"Would you mind terribly if we were married?"

My eyes snapped open and the first thing I saw was the sparkling thing in his hands - at first glance I thought it was his skin in the sunlight. Instead, however, it was a beautiful, brilliant diamond ring glinting in the sun.

"I don't mind too terribly." I said after a moment's silence and he chuckled, gently slipping the silver band over my pale finger. I'd be lying to myself if I said I hadn't been wanting it since I'd first met Carlisle Cullen. I loved him senselessly, too.

I twisted to where I was facing him on the branch with a dazzling smile. He pulled me close, into a kiss before I curled against his chest.

Night would come soon, and with it, our meeting with the Volturi.

Once the square cleared just after nightfall, we headed to the church. It was large with domed ceilings and brilliant architecture, just like the rest of the city. We headed to the back where we met with Edward and the others, who had been joined by a young girl with dark red eyes, and a taller man who looked at us with distaste.

"Hello Carlisle." The girl greeted with a small nod in his direction. Carlisle mirrored her actions, before we piled into a modern looking elevator. Carlisle held me close and I tried to ignore the looks that the two vampires from what I assumed was the Volturi kept giving me.

We entered into an even more modern lobby, with a human receptionist who greeted us cheerfully. I wanted to ask why they had a human receptionist, but Edward heard the thought and gave him a quick shake of the head. He was just as nervous as I was - everyone was.

"Ah, my good friend Carlisle."

There were three tall vampires in long black cloaks, one of which was coming toward Carlisle. Without breaking his hold on me, he shook the man's hand - but it wasn't a normal handshake. They held hands for a long time, the man's other hand resting on top of Carlisle's.

"I see." He murmured, before his gaze turned to me. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Miss Platt." He extended his hand toward me next and I looked at Carlisle, who gave a short nod. I took his hand and instantly I felt another presence in my head - apparently this man could read my mind. Almost like Edward, but by the way his touch lingered, I guessed he had to be touching them to read their minds.

"Well, I do offer my congratulations to you on your recent engagement." He said, letting my hand drop. "I'm curious Carlisle - does she have any talents like some of the members of your family? Perhaps she's immune to some talents, almost like Isabella?"

He glanced sideways at the girl from before and the next thing I knew I was on the ground, screaming in pain. It flooded over me - worse than anything I had ever felt before. I wasn't dying, but it sure as hell felt like it, and I wished I would rather than deal with the pain. I felt my body arch as it flooded over me in waves - like a mix of being electrocuted and stabbed violently and viciously.

It felt like an eternity, but I knew it had only been a few seconds when the pain stopped. I was staring up at the ceiling of the domed room. A pale arm wrapped around me and lifted me up - Carlisle now held me even more protectively, glaring at man in charge. The girl in the corner merely smiled.

"Only a bit of experimentation, my friend. My apologies, Miss. Platt."

I only glared. I decided instantly I didn't like him, and I didn't like his friends.

"Esme, this is Aro." Carlisle introduced after a moment, nodding toward the man. "Caius and Marcus." He nodded to the other two behind him. "Jane, Felix, Demetri, and Heidi." He glanced at the group in the corner, including the girl. I usually didn't hate children, but I very much wanted to punch that young girl in the face and snap her pretty little head off.

Edward snorted. I gave a bitter smile in his direction before my attention focused back on the Volturi in front of us. I noticed each of them had a golden necklace hanging from around their necks - a V with ruby stones set into it. I remembered seeing something like it in a drawer in Carlisle's study once.

"Well, let me be the one to officially welcome you to Volterra. And you, Esme, to our world."

I only gave a nod. He smiled maliciously.

"Only a few more groups of humans to rid the world of now."

I bristled - Carlisle instantly sensed my fury and tightened his grip on me, but I had already opened my mouth.

"The only reason you're still alive is because of humans."

He only continued to smile. "You have something to say, Esme?"

"The only reason most of your race is alive is because of humans. Otherwise you'd be dead from lack of blood supply - and you're actually already running out, in case you haven't been paying attention to any sort of news or living under a rock." I stated firmly.

"We're working on a solution to that problem."

"That doesn't bring back the ones you've mercilessly murdered and put into those nasty farms. I watched three vampires drag off two of my best friends who were human to farms to breed hybrids and then be killed for their blood. Two more came along and killed their husbands and children in front of me. When I was in the hospital they tried to take my blood from me. God forbid I hadn't been married to Charles Evenson, or with Carlisle Cullen or I would have been murdered."

"It's not like we killed your son and husband, so I don't see why you're yelling at us." Caius said lazily. An unneeded breath hitched in my throat at the thought of my son.

"Does it hurt, to know you'll never be able to have children?" Jane asked from across the room with a malicious smile. I didn't look at her. I might have physically not have been able to feel pain, but emotionally, I was being stabbed through the heart. I felt a wave of calm crash into me, but my anger and fury was literally radiating so much that it deflected it - I would have to apologize to Jasper later because I knew he was probably feeling uncomfortable right then. Carlisle's grip was like steel around my waist - I gently pulled myself away, too angry to have anything touch me. My hands curled into fists, nails digging into my marble skin. I stepped in front of Aro, as my conversation was with him, not with the vicious child in the corner.

"My kind no longer exists because of your greed. And you are in charge of the vampire world - why didn't you stop it?"

"Why would I? That would cause rebellion and fury against us - and we have to sustain ourselves somehow." He shrugged like it was anything normal. But it wasn't. This man was the reason all of my human friends were dead. "And in case you haven't noticed, they aren't your kind anymore - you're one of us now."

"How long is it going to be before your kind start turning on each other?" I asked, ignoring his quip at the end. He chuckled.

"She's got a fiery spirit this one, Carlisle." He said to Carlisle, never taking his eyes off me. "My kind will not turn on one another. We have other ways of sustaining ourselves."

"I vote if we do start turning on each other like she says, we go after her first. She's nothing but a nuisance. A waste of vampire skin." Jane muttered. My hands clenched tighter, which she noticed.

"Oh, I'm sorry. Am I making you mad?"

"Jane." Aro warned as my gaze finally turned toward her. I didn't care she had some sort of powers that could cause me unbelievable pain. I was going to rip her head off her shoulders.

"What's she going to do Aro? Love me to death?"

I had never been a fighter. Sure, when I was little, I went to self defense classes on the insistence of my mother so I would know how to defend myself in a fight. But now - something inside of me had snapped and I was halfway across the room before I realized what I was doing. Jane laughed, a shrill laugh that echoed throughout the entire place as she sidestepped me and grabbed my arm, twisting it behind my back and throwing me across the room. I slammed into one of the pillars.

"Stop it!" Carlisle said, but all he received was a hiss in return - the members of the guard had moved to step in front of my family, blocking them from helping me. I had brought this on myself anyway. Aro, Caius, and Marcus were watching like we were some sort of sick entertainment for them.

Jane looked like she was ready to use her power on me, but I felt nothing. Jane frowned and I caught Bella's gaze - she was using her protective shield that had developed when she had become a vampire to protect me from Jane's abilities.

I didn't look at Carlisle, afraid to see the look on his face. I wasn't myself and that was obvious - the instincts in me had taken over.

I knew one thing though - I was a newborn. Which meant I was stronger than Jane. Much stronger, considering I had wrestled Emmett to the ground just yesterday while we were waiting to leave for our flight, only because he'd dared me to try.

Ignoring the shattered bits of column at my feet, I dodged Jane as she lunged for me with a hiss. I grabbed her arm as it came up to hit me and snapped it backwards like a twig - she shrieked as her bones snapped. I let go and was back across the room, away from her. She glared as she shifted her arm, rotating it until it healed.

"Ladies." Aro began in a bored tone, not even putting any effort into stopping us. We both ignored him.

Jane came toward me again and she managed to wrap her fingers in my hair, slinging me over her and slamming me down onto the tiled floor. It shattered beneath me, I could feel it. She reached for my throat and I grabbed her hand, shoving her roughly off. She flew backwards and into one of the thrones at the head of the room, sending it flying to pieces. For a long moment, she didn't get up.

But when she did, she looked as angry as ever.

She tried her powers again, but Bella's shield remained tight around me.

Even if she was several hundred years old, she still had childish tendencies apparently as she flew into a child-like rage at me, almost like a tantrum. Screaming, Jane moved to attack me, but because she was so blinded by her fury, I had her pinned down within mere seconds, my hand at her throat as if daring her to move.

There was a long silence.

"Well, that was quite an eventful meeting. Carlisle, you and your family can leave. You and I will have a meeting tomorrow before the ball - to which you and your entire family are invited to."

"Thank you."

Jane glared up at me as I felt pale hands wrap themselves around my arms. I pulled away and without thinking, ran. I had promised myself never to run again, but I needed to clear my head. I needed to think without Edward listening.

I needed to be alone.

I followed the path we had taken to get down to this place, and once I left the church and came out onto the square, I picked a random alleyway and ran. I didn't know where I was going or where I wanted to go.

I simply ran.

**. . .**

It was long after sunrise before Carlisle found me.

I had managed to mask my scent with garlic and some other spices I had found within a shop - Volterra smelled much like the spices I had picked, which was why I had picked them.

For most of the night I had sat on the roof of one of the taller buildings, and when the sun had started to come up, I found an abandoned place. It was dusty and dank, but I stayed there another hour, but more humans were filling the area so I had left the city in favor of the countryside. I had stolen one of the red cloaks that were being sold for some holiday the next week and was wrapped it in as I ran, preventing my skin from glittering in the sunlight.

It didn't take me long to get to the beautiful beach I had seen earlier. You could still see the city on the hill, but I had found a private section of beach that belonged to some rich man who wasn't in the country at the moment, so I was safely alone without any humans for several miles.

I threw the cloak to the sand, kicked off my shoes, and waded into the water.

I had cried most of the night. Well, my body had wracked with tearless sobs. Everything about crying as a vampire was the same as a human - the lump in your throat, the pain, the sobs, except for the fact no tears fell.

I was on the verge of another crying fit as I stood waist deep in the water. It was chilly, I could tell, but it didn't bother me. What Jane had said to me - it hurt. Apparently being a vampire made emotional pain intensify. I'd never felt this terrible. I had wanted to kill her for it, but I wasn't supposed to do that. I was a good vampire. Not one of the terrible ones that murdered people.

A soft wind blew my hair about my face - it was probably a mess now, as was the sundress I had been wearing - it was torn in places from where I'd been running through the dense trees.

My skin glittered in the sunlight and I wanted to rip it off. I couldn't have children because of the way I was now. I didn't blame Carlisle, I really didn't, but I felt robbed. Humans and vampires were able to have children together and they were born as the hybrids, like my son would have been. Carlisle and I could have had a baby - if I hadn't been pushed off that cliff.

I wanted to drown in that ocean, to die, and be reunited with my son in Gods arms.

I was completely out of it by the time Carlisle found me.

Covered in sand and smelling of the salty ocean, I was laying on my side, watching a tiny shell crab scuttle across the sand in front of me. I kept poking at it - it would disappear inside it's shell for a while, then come back out and continue its journey.

I didn't hear, smell, or see when he approached.

"Esme."

I didn't reply. I simply lay there, watching the sand crab scuttle toward the ocean, dodging shells. When it reached the place where the surf rolled in, it was shoved back, but it continued, determined to make it into the ocean.

"Esme." He said yet again, suddenly crouching in the sand in front of me, blocking my vision of my little sand crab. When I didn't look at him, his hand came down and tilted my chin up, forcing me to look at him. There was a mixed expression of pain, confusion, and worry written across his face that I didn't want to see. He was too handsome to have such an expression on his face, and it was because of me he was looking like that.

"Are you okay?"

Was I okay? No, I wasn't. If I was in a normal world and a normal human, they probably would have shipped me off to some insane asylum because of the emotional breakdown I had just had. Everything was overwhelming me just too much, and I hadn't been able to handle it all.

Because I didn't reply, Carlisle let go of my chin and sat down in the sand. Without warning, he gathered me up in his arms and merely held me tight to him - I didn't protest, merely let my fingers curl into the familiar fabric of his shirt. His face nuzzled my hair and neck, arms wrapped around my back and waist, our legs tangled together.

"I'm sorry." He whispered quietly. "I'm sorry I've put you through all of this. It's my fault - if I hadn't changed you, you wouldn't be here and she wouldn't have said those things to you."

I had already told him I didn't blame him, and there he went, blaming himself.

"If I could take it back, I would."

My grip on his shirt tightened as I sat up, facing him on my own this time.

"Don't say that. Ever." I whispered fiercely. "I don't want you to take it back. I chose this, Carlisle. Ask Edward - he heard my thoughts that night. I wanted you to change me. I didn't want to die. I wanted to be with you. I don't blame you, so stop blaming yourself. She only said those things to get to me, and I let it. I don't want to have children unless they're with you, anyway, and we've already got six beautiful children who adore both of us and are probably wondering if I've had a mental breakdown and attempted to kill myself yet."

Carlisle pressed a kiss to my forehead, giving a weak smile.

"If I didn't love you senselessly, sometimes I'd punch you for blaming yourself." I added.

We sat in silence for a long time after that, until he broke it again.

"Actually, the children were quite concerned about you."

Another long pause.

"Don't ever mix garlic with ocean water again. You smell terrible."


End file.
